Turf Show Times - The Officially Unofficial Turf Show Times List of the Worst Rock Songs Everhttps://cdn.vox-cdn.com/community_logos/51333/tst-fav.png2015-04-17T11:00:23-05:00http://www.turfshowtimes.com/rss/stream/80844542015-04-17T11:00:23-05:002015-04-17T11:00:23-05:00100 Worst Rock n' Roll Songs of All Time: The Top Ten!
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<p>We've come a long way, Rockers, but here we are at last- the top ten worst Rock n' Roll songs of all time!</p> <p><i>It was nice not being tactical on field-ops. We had a fire going and we had time to "savor" our MREs, instead of the normal routine of packing the whole thing in your mouth inside of five minutes. </i></p>
<p><i>We were lounging in relative comfort, huddled around the fire and leisurely eating our freeze-dried, vacuum-packed delicacies and of course, shooting the breeze about drinking escapades and the always popular skirt-chasing adventures. Our rifles rested easy beside us. </i></p>
<p><i>Corporal Bernd had the floor...[edited for adult content]<br></i></p>
<p><i>"So, we decided to rent a car to head up to London for the weekend. Man, we are already three sheets to the wind! So, we rent this car and Parson's was drivin' see? I don't know what road we were on...just some damn road in the middle of like, Sussex or something...and Parson's had that thing floored!"</i></p>
<p><i>"What kind of car was it?" It was Shearer, who looked kind of bored by the story.<br></i></p>
<p><i>"Hell, I don't know. Maybe a Renault? But anyway, we were doin' like 90 on this straight stretch with some Skynrd cranked and then all of a sudden- SCREEEEEEeeeee! Sideways around this corner! Then we rolled that sucker, man...and right in the middle of the "Freebird" jam."</i></p>
<p><i>"What jam in "Freebird?" </i></p>
<p><i>Corporal Bernd looked at me with tortured shock, "Duuuude....are you serious?"</i></p>
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<p align="center"><b>* * * * *</b></p>
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<p><b>Here's what you've all been waiting for Rockomaniacs! The absolute and definitive ten worst songs in Rock n' Roll history!</b></p>
<p><b>10. [Everything by Has-Beens]</b> The 80s were flooded with washed-up, former 70s rockers trying desperately to ride their own coattails back to the top. Examples (<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylxBKWGMrqY" target="_blank">Here</a>, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAEd_U7TEEM" target="_blank">here</a> and <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/UnNews:Washed_Up_70%27s_Rock_Band_touring_to_promote_new_album" target="_blank">here</a>) <strike>are too numerous to list</strike>, but the standard was set by-<br><b>Tall Cool One, Robert Plant</b></p>
<p><iframe width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Ka_ALgG9hqY"></iframe><br><br><b>9. All Right Now, Free</b> <br>Nothing is alright when this crap is forced into your ears.<br><br><b>8. Jeremy, Pearl Jam</b><br>The best brains at Boeing,<b> </b>Messerschmitt-Bölkow-Blohm and NASA have been attempting to create a device to measure the suck in this song. So far- no luck.<br><br><b>7. Sussudio, Phil Collins</b><br>This loser managed to get not one, but two songs in the top ten! Or is that, the bottom ten? I don't know. What I do know is this thing (I can't call it a song), sucks from the get-go and should be exterminated with extreme prejudice.</p>
<p><iframe width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/r0qBaBb1Y-U"></iframe><br><br><b>6. The Pretender, Foo Fighters</b><br>This sucks like Jack the Bear and his wife Jill.<br><br><b>5. Summer of '69, Bryan Adams</b><br>It. Just. Won't. Go away! "Oooh! Look how cool I was back in high school!" <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vQpW9XRiyM" target="_blank">Is anything more pathetic</a>? <br><br><b>4. Kashmir, Led Zeppelin</b><br>And you thought (hoped) we were done with the Zep? This song has the suck power of a black hole. Although, I think they actually used TWO chords in this one!</p>
<p><iframe width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ZDwotNLyz10"></iframe><br><br><b>3. In the Air Tonight, Phil Collins</b><br>This song is used to torture the poor souls in Hell for all eternity...also Gitmo, but I don't really care about that.<br><b><br>2. Aqualung, Jethro Tull</b><br>An entire cacophony of crap. <i>Ian Anderson, "It's quite a tortured tangle of chords...[]"</i></p>
<p>No shit?</p>
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<p><b>And here it comes. The single, uncontested, champion of all that is suck...The song that sucks more than anything has ever sucked in the history of suck...[drum roll]...</b></p>
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<p><b>1. Turn the Page, Bob Seger</b><br>So, let me see if I understand you...you are a millionaire rockstar, traveling around and bedding teenage groupies every other night...and I am supposed to feel sorry for you? Riiiight.</p>
<p>Rock n' Roll is not the deepest of mediums, I get that- but this? This is beyond...like way beyond the pale. This is a bottomless pit of self-absorption. A level of self-worship that will be recorded amongst the gods and poets until the Sun flames brightly and then, with great agony and wailing, withers into the deep and forever darkness.</p>
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<p><b>And there we are Rockomaniacs! All 100 of the worst, most reprehensible, the most rancid, rancorous and disgusting tunes that Rock n' Roll has ever coughed up from it's vile innards!</b></p>
https://www.turfshowtimes.com/2015/4/17/8439163/100-worst-rock-n-roll-songs-of-all-time-the-top-tenCharles_Martel2015-04-15T08:00:11-05:002015-04-15T08:00:11-05:00100 Worst Rock n' Roll Songs of All Time: #20-11
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<p>Apologies, Rockers...life called, I had to answer. We are back now and with ten more stinking piles of Rock n' Roll refuse!</p> <p><b>Let's dive right in!</b> <b> </b></p>
<p><b>If you are just tuning in, be sure to check all of our non-hits in <a href="http://www.turfshowtimes.com/st-louis-rams-mutton-chops/2015/3/31/8320413/worst-rock-n-roll-songs-ever-football-nfl-justin-bieber">the StoryStream</a>.</b></p>
<p><b>20. The Joker, Steve Miller Band</b></p>
<p>If I was convinced that this song was a joke, it wouldn't make the list. Insipid garbage.</p>
<p><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/DzSC2__LXk4" frameborder="0" height="315" width="560"></iframe><br><br><b>19. Only the Good Die Young, Billy Joel</b><br>A Beta posturing as an Alpha. Pffft.<br><br><b>18. Desperado, Eagles </b><br><a target="_blank" href="http://gawker.com/woman-stabs-roommate-for-refusing-to-stop-listening-to-1335462841">See? I'm not the only one</a>.<br><br><b>17. Leader of the Pack, Shangri-Las</b><br>Seriously, just watch...you'll understand...</p>
<p><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/SM_99DtI0tE" frameborder="0" height="315" width="560"></iframe><br><br><b>16. Jack and Diane, John Cougar Mellencamp</b><br>Can we whine just a little more over some insignificant stupidity?<br><br><b>15. Stairway to Heaven, Led Zeppelin</b><br>Many commenters are probably surprised to see this song at only 15. Many were guessing it to be the number one. Truly, they had a good case, because the suck is epic, but this should be an indicator of just how badly the top 14 hoover.<br><br><b>14. I've Seen All Good people, Yes</b><br>The suck just goes on and on and on...<br><br><b>13. Momma, I'm Coming Home, Ozzy Osbourne</b><br>What's worse than this song on the radio? This song live, performed by Ozzy on exactly and literally every drug in the known Universe.</p>
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<p><b>12. Money for Nothing, Dire Straits</b></p>
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<p>I got an objection from the editor of a gay newspaper in London – he actually said it was below the belt. Apart from the fact that there are stupid gay people as well as stupid other people, it suggests that maybe you can't let it have so many meanings – you have to be direct. In fact, I'm still in two minds as to whether it's a good idea to write songs that aren't in the first person, to take on other characters. The singer in "Money for Nothing" is a real ignoramus, hard hat mentality – somebody who sees everything in financial terms. I mean, this guy has a grudging respect for rock stars. He sees it in terms of, well, that's not working and yet the guy's rich: that's a good scam. He isn't sneering.</p>
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<p>Mark Knopfler</p>
<p><b>11. What a Lucky Man, Emerson, Lake and Palmer</b><br>And what an unlucky one am I, for ever having heard this drivel. What is this crap and why is it in my ears? Most importantly, get it out!</p>
<p><b>So, there you have it, Rockomaniacs! We are down to the top ten, coming Friday to a Turf Show Times near you. Be there or be square!</b></p>
<p><b>Be sure to visit the comments and predict your choice for the top ten worst Rock songs of all time!</b></p>
https://www.turfshowtimes.com/2015/4/15/8419519/100-worst-rock-n-roll-songs-of-all-time-20-11Charles_Martel2015-04-10T09:00:10-05:002015-04-10T09:00:10-05:00100 Worst Rock n' Roll Songs of All Time: #30-21
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<p>Hey Rockers! We're breaking into the top 25 of our complete and unabridged rockopedia of the worst Rock n' Roll of all time! Get ready to not rock!</p> <blockquote>
<p><b>♫....♪...[<i>song ends</i>]<br></b></p>
<p><b>"Whoo! Yeah! You know...whoo...♫...[<i>applause</i>] we've been all over the world...the country...ho, man...whoo! Yeah, baby....we've been on tour for over a year now.. ♪...[<i>applause</i>] Yeah!...Man, I can tell you...whoo!...I can tell you...oh man...yeah!..♫..we've been every man [<i>applause</i>]...we've been...whoo!...man!...Yeah, we've been all over the world and I only know one thing!</b></p>
<p><b> [<i>your city</i>] ROCKS! [<i>wild applause</i>] </b></p>
<p>-Every concert ever</p>
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<p><b>Let's get not rockin'!</b></p>
<p><b>30. Ordinary Average Guy, Joe Walsh</b><br>A litany of boring redundancy, but also some tiresome replication, with some monotonous recapitulation.</p>
<p><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/mLNAkPsjAEk" frameborder="0" height="315" width="560"></iframe><br><br><b>29. Turbo Lover, Judas Priest</b><br>A litany of boring redundancy, but also some tiresome replication, with some monotonous recapitulation. <br><br><b>28. All I Have to do is Dream, Everly Brothers</b><br>Even in 1958, bands knew how to epically suck.<br><br><b>27. Bad to the Bone, George Thoroughgood</b><br>Back when dinosaurs ruled the Earth, I liked this song. Then it was smashed and thrashed into an amorphous blotch, until only the most pathetic of mid-life crisis-havin' phony tough guys still like it.<br><br><b>26. War Pigs, Black Sabbath</b><br>Hippie-Metal? GTFO<br><br><b>25. Every Rose Has it's Thorn, Poison</b><br>When he is old enough, take your son on a fishing trip, just you and him. After a spot of fishing, turn to him, very gravely and say, "Son, there's something we have to talk about."<br>"What's up?"<br>"Son, Glam-Metal, sucks" Then put this song on. Yes, it's cruel, but it is for his own good.<br>Once the screams and convulsions subside, share a father/son beer and do some bonding.</p>
<p><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/gYeZJ9_Hmwg" frameborder="0" height="315" width="560"></iframe><br><br><b>24. 10,000 Fists, Disturbed</b><br>40 years of metal and some bands, like Iron Maiden and Disturbed never heard of this thing called "Melody"<br><br><b>23. If I Close My Eyes Forever, Ozzy Osbourne & Lita Ford</b><br>A metal love song duet? This works about as well as Billy Milano backstage at a One Direction concert.<br><br><b>22. Turn Up the Radio, Autograph</b><br>The most cynically obvious play for airtime- ever. It sucks.<br><br><b>21. Beth, Kiss</b><br>For a few moments, KISS forgot that they were a joke. The result was this atrocity.</p>
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<p><b>That's it for today Rockomaniacs! Check in Monday as we near the top ten!</b></p>
https://www.turfshowtimes.com/2015/4/10/8381039/100-worst-rock-n-roll-songs-of-all-time-30-21Charles_Martel2015-04-08T09:00:10-05:002015-04-08T09:00:10-05:00100 Worst Rock n' Roll Songs of All Time: #40-31
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<figcaption>Tasos Katopodis/Getty Images</figcaption>
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<p>We're back again Rockomaniacs! Counting down the next 10 of the ugliest, nastiest, most vomit-inducing Rock n' Roll of all time!</p> <p>Now, it has come to my attention that some of our readers are questioning my competence to judge Rock n' Roll.</p>
<p>For instance, there was this recent comment-</p>
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<p>And what little credibility you had Charles, there it goes.</p>
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<p>And then this <a href="http://www.sbnation.com/users/knight%20ranger?_ga=1.196354735.2025867678.1379530437" target="_blank">creepy guy </a>and also <a href="http://www.sbnation.com/users/Montemayor40?_ga=1.163194687.2025867678.1379530437" target="_blank">this one</a></p>
<p><b>I really didn't want to do this, but I have been left with no choice...</b></p>
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<p><b>Now, on to the music!</b></p>
<p><b>40. Blinded by the light, Manfred Mann</b><br>As is the way of everything- something becomes perfect, just as it also becomes obsolete...in this case Acid Rock. It sucks.<br><br><b>39. Plush, Stone Temple Pilots</b><br>Boring! Next!</p>
<p><br><iframe width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/V5UOC0C0x8Q"></iframe><br><b>38. [Everything by] van Hagar</b><br>There are no words for such popish, synthesized, absolute garbage; it needs to be stricken from the hallowed halls of Rock n' Roll.<br><br><b>37. Black Hole Sun, Soundgarden</b><br>Go be depressed and cut yourself somewhere else.<br><br><b>38. I'm Your Captain/Closer to Home, Grand Funk Railroad</b><br>An <strike>exorcize</strike> exercise in just how long a sustained whine can go on.<br><br><b>37. In a Gadda Da Vida, Iron Butterfly</b><br>Paleo-Metal, my ass...this is pure, uncut suck, laced with crap.</p>
<p><iframe width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/UIVe-rZBcm4"></iframe><br><br><b>36. Black Magic Woman, Santana</b><br>Dense, in <a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=dense&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8" target="_blank">every conceivable permutation</a> of that word.<br><br><b>35. Numb, Linkin Park</b><br>The bastard offspring of a violent and short lived domestic arrangement between Eminem and Justin Bieber.<br><br><b>34. Wheel in the Sky, Journey</b><br>Mind numbingly dull. There are these things called "breaks". Look 'em up some time.<br><br><b>33. (Don't Fear) The Reaper, Blue Oyster Cult</b><br>Hey, here's a good idea! Let's encourage some troubled teens to commit suicide. <br><br><b>32. Hey Jude, The Beatles</b><br>Why hasn't someone parodied this crap yet? <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5u7A2yNpxPk" target="_blank">Oh...(NSFW)</a></p>
<p><b>31. Tom Sawyer, Rush</b><br>AAAAAAAH! Stop playing this! STOP! For the love of God, please, I beg you! Stop!</p>
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<p><b>Don't miss the next one as we break into the top 25! Coming Friday. Tune in and drop out!</b></p>
https://www.turfshowtimes.com/2015/4/8/8368737/100-worst-rock-n-roll-songs-of-all-time-40-31Charles_Martel2015-04-07T08:54:05-05:002015-04-07T08:54:05-05:00100 Worst Rock n' Roll Songs of All Time: #60-41
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<p>Hey Rockers! It's twofer Tuesday! Twice the slice of Rock n' Roll clunkers! </p> <p>If you are just joining us, we are counting down the 100 worst Rock songs of all time. If you are just joining us, here are some helpful links to get you right up to speed. <a href="http://www.turfshowtimes.com/2015/3/26/8287419/100-worst-rock-n-roll-songs-of-all-time?_ga=1.177010925.951319832.1379536259" target="_blank">The first 10.</a> <a href="http://www.turfshowtimes.com/2015/3/30/8311051/100-worst-rock-n-roll-songs-of-all-time-90-81?_ga=1.153817584.951319832.1379536259" target="_blank">#90-81</a>, <a href="http://www.turfshowtimes.com/2015/4/1/8324665/100-worst-rock-n-roll-songs-of-all-time-80-71?_ga=1.111349836.951319832.1379536259" target="_blank">#80-71</a>, <a href="http://www.turfshowtimes.com/2015/4/3/8338977/top-100-worst-rock-n-roll-songs-of-all-time?_ga=1.111349836.951319832.1379536259" target="_blank">#70-61</a>.</p>
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<p>It's a 90 minute rock-block so, let's get this twofer Tuesday started!</p>
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<p><b>60. The Wind Cries Mary, The Jimi Hendrix Experience</b><br> Oh, the wind cries alright...so do I when I am forced to listen to this crap</p>
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<p><br> <b>59. Janie's Got a Gun, Aerosmith</b><br> Audio torture...could this possibly suck more?<br><br> <b>58. For Those About to Rock (We Salute You), AC/DC </b><br>Probably the worst example of formulaic hack known to mankind. Tortured and ripped-from-some-history-book-that-you-read-in-school-only-because-the-teacher(finally!)put-a-gun-to-your-head-hook+stupid guitar solo+a scream or two=album sales...at least in the '80's.<br><br> <b>57. Hey Hey What Can I Do? Led Zeppelin</b><br> I have several suggestions for what you can do with this crap. <br><br> <b>56. Born to Run, Bruce Springsteen</b><br> Run away! Run away!</p>
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<p><br><br> <b>55. We Built This City (on Rock and Roll), Jefferson Starship</b><br> And we wrote this song on crack.<br><br> <b>54. Is This Love? Whitesnake</b><br> No. No it isn't.<br><br> <b>53. Black, Pearl Jam</b><br>Pearl Jam- the cure for writers block on this list.<br> <br> <b>52. Bungle in the Jungle, Jethro Tull</b><br> Even Nazis don't deserve this. If this song saw more airplay, it would contend for top 10 easily.</p>
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<p><br><br> <b>51. Two Hearts, Phil Collins</b><br>Ear douche, please!<br> <br><b>50. Bohemian Rhapsody, Queen</b><br>Bohemian Rhapsody occupies a special place on our list. Not only is it exactly halfway, but it was probably the most contentious amongst my friends Greg and Don, who helped me compose this list. I actually like this song, but I just have to say- This is NOT opera! This is children playing at opera. Once the pretentiousness is suitably dispensed with, one can simply enjoy this goofy and unique song.</p>
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<p><br><br><b>49. I Want to Know What Love is, Foreigner</b><br>I want to know when this song ends</p>
<p><b>48. Prison Sex, Tool</b><br>Well, that one writes itself, now doesn't it?<br><br><b>47. Big Log, Robert Plant</b><br>If I had to choose, between driving a Yugo or listening to this song, I would take the bullet.<br><br><b>46. The Final Countdown, Europe</b><br>Pop-Metal? What the hell is this? Besides crap, I mean.<br><br><b>45. (Everything I do) I do it for you, Bryan Adams</b><br>Is there anything worse than a sickly-sweet love song posing as Rock n' Roll?<br><br><b>44. Imagine, John Lennon</b><br>Imagine if we all lived in the real world.</p>
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<p><br><br><b>43. Chop Suey, System of a Down</b><br>Part rap, part metal, part love song- all crap.<br><br><b>42. Enter Sandman, Metallica</b><br>Sell. Out. In order to appreciate the enormity of this travesty, it is probably necessary to have lived in the 80s and to have been a metal fan. After Cliff Burton's death (may he R.I.P.) and the mess that was Justice for All, the faithful waited eagerly for Metallica to get it all back together...they were rewarded with this colossal pile of stink.<br><br><b>41. Mr. Roboto, Styx</b><br>Styx had some good stuff, but what in the absolute hell were they thinking when they came up with this? Five and half minutes of nonsensical garbage...uhg.</p>
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<p><b>As always...stay tuned for much more music fans! The <strike>best</strike> worst is yet to come..</b>..</p>
https://www.turfshowtimes.com/2015/4/7/8354799/top-100-worst-rock-n-roll-songs-of-all-timeCharles_Martel2015-04-03T09:18:58-05:002015-04-03T09:18:58-05:00100 Worst Rock n' Roll Songs of All Time: #70-61
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<p>We're back with the next 10 selections in our countdown of the very worst that Rock n' Roll have to offer! Buckle up Rockomaniacs!</p> <p>Well, we've come a long way on our list, but we still have a long way to go. Today's edition dials back a bit on real heavyweights, but chances are you have heard all of these songs at one time or another. Sorry about that.</p>
<p>In fact, I really must apologize for filling your day with these horrible, horrible ditties. But just in case you are a grad student writing a term paper entitled "Suckage vs Quantum Mechanics in Vortexual Nutrino Fields", I figure this just may help. I am all about higher education. Grad students- you may want to reference the previous articles in this series, <a href="http://www.turfshowtimes.com/2015/3/26/8287419/100-worst-rock-n-roll-songs-of-all-time/in/8084454" target="_blank">especially part one</a>, which bears the all important judging criteria. Then parts <a href="http://www.turfshowtimes.com/2015/3/30/8311051/100-worst-rock-n-roll-songs-of-all-time-90-81/in/8084454" target="_blank">two</a> and <a href="http://www.turfshowtimes.com/2015/4/1/8324665/100-worst-rock-n-roll-songs-of-all-time-80-71/in/8084454" target="_blank">three</a>. Don't forget to footnote.</p>
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<p><b>70. My Boyfriends Back, The Angels</b><br> Prototrash. A precursor to Jerry Springer if there ever was one.</p>
<p><iframe width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Q4Djqdizdi4"></iframe></p>
<p><br> <b>69. Even Flow, Pearl Jam</b><br> After originally promising a friend that this wouldn't make the list, I changed my mind. The suck exuding from this song left me with no choice.</p>
<p><br> <b>68. Night Moves, Bob Seger</b><br> Apparently, Bob Seger was born at 40 years of age and thus spends all of his time longing for the youth he never had.</p>
<p><b>67. Mr. Saturday Night Special, Lynyrd Skynyrd</b><br> A prime example of tendentious, over reach. This hacked garbage is particularly hard to fathom from the band that gave us "Simple Man" and "Sweet Home, Alabama"</p>
<p><iframe width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/3AtGZBWRmLA"></iframe></p>
<p><br> <b>66. T.N.T, AC/DC</b><br> These guys had a lot of songs, that basically said "I am a bad ass, son of a bitch". Ok, I get the relative transposition. So?</p>
<p><br> <b>65. Sister Christian, Night Ranger</b><br> Besides sucking musically...ok, maybe that is the only thing.</p>
<p><br> <b>64. Wind of Change, The Scorpions</b><br> Kidnapping the lyrics of "Imagine" to celebrate the fall of Communism produces one of many WTF? moments in Rock n' Roll history</p>
<p><iframe width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/n4RjJKxsamQ"></iframe></p>
<p><br> <b>63. Livin' on a Prayer, Bon Jovi</b><br> You've heard it...you know it sucks.</p>
<p><br> <b>62. Magic Man, Heart</b><br> The anthem of upstart whores everywhere.</p>
<p><br> <b>61. You Better, You Bet, The Who</b><br> Dreary lyrics, stunted chords. A nerve rattling example of excrement. The Who, basically should have made one song and one song only, "Won't Get Fooled Again".</p>
<p><iframe width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Mj58IHA3urc"></iframe></p>
<p><br> <b>The next installment is coming soon, music fans! Stay tuned...</b></p>
https://www.turfshowtimes.com/2015/4/3/8338977/top-100-worst-rock-n-roll-songs-of-all-timeCharles_Martel2015-04-01T11:00:10-05:002015-04-01T11:00:10-05:00100 Worst Rock n' Roll Songs of All Time: #80-71
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<figcaption>Oli Scarff/Getty Images</figcaption>
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<p>100 Worst Rock 'n Roll Songs of All Time continues! Our next 10 selections feature some true heavyweights! No band is safe. If it sucks, it will be here!</p> <p>It seems that I have made a new friend or two lately. Helpful little chaps they are! Just full of wonderful advice! For instance, one of my new friends, Jesse had this to say, in response to my last "100 Worst" article...</p>
<p>[via twitter, since deleted] <i>Charles, just a guess, but you probably don't know the first thing about playing music whatsoever so you resort to negative vibes...</i></p>
<p>Now, I know you were just trying to help Jesse, but I nearly got my feeling hurt. You see, at first, I thought that you did indeed have a valid point, but then I remembered that I played trumpet in my high school band! We played "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4V1p1dM3snQ" target="_blank">Louie, Louie</a>" and everything. So, there's that, but then I also got to thinking, "Are you, Jesse, a politician?" Maybe I am way off base here, but it seems that if you aren't, you probably shouldn't be voting. That seems about right, doesn't it?</p>
<p>Anyway, you really made me think and I appreciate the help Jesse. Keep those helpful little tweets coming</p>
<p>On to the music!</p>
<p><b>80. Hotel California, The Eagles</b><br> Oh yeah...I went there. Perennially billed as one of the best of all time, no one stops to consider that this song actually, in fact, sucks.</p>
<p><iframe width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/h0G1Ucw5HDg"></iframe></p>
<p><br> <b>79. Born to be Wild, Steppenwolf</b><br> The anthem of fat, aging baby-boomers, who take a draw from their 401k to buy a $25,000 "Hog" and hit the road, whilst recalling their heroic days in Canada avoiding the draft.</p>
<p><br> <b>78. Sleeping Bag, ZZ Top</b><br> No description needed, it just sucks.</p>
<p><br> <b>77. Nothing Else Matters, Metallica</b><br> On an entire album that sucks, this song is a standout....</p>
<p><br> <b>76. Strawberry Fields Forever, The Beatles</b><br> As my bro Keith is fond of saying, "The Beatles got better, the more drugs they used". Coming along at about the 3/4 mark of the Fab Four's drug usage, they just didn't quite trip enough the day they recorded this.</p>
<p><iframe width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/nehRB1FTeTo"></iframe></p>
<p><br> <b>75. Immigrant Song, Led Zeppelin</b><br>O' lord! This is tedious.</p>
<p><br> <b>74. Pinball Wizard, The Who</b><br> Oh, I know. If one doesn't like this song, you are supposed to "respect" it...rock opera, all that crap...Tommy...blah, blah, blah. If it was farce, I may be able to, but it really is garbage.</p>
<p><br> <b>73. Where the Streets Have No Name, U2</b><br> An entire band built around whining as a form of lyrical expression.</p>
<p><iframe width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/aWxUx1L2C-g"></iframe></p>
<p><br> <b>72. Tonight, Tonight, Tonight, Genesis</b><br> The sad part is, this is one of the more tolerable Genesis songs.</p>
<p><b><br> 71. Like a Rock, Bob Seger</b><br> The ever narcissistic Mr. Seger, bemoans his approaching middle-agedness by recalling his days as a young stud-muffin. His humility and gracious acceptance of the inevitable really shine through in this heart warming ditty used to sell good 'ol 'Murkin trucks.</p>
<p><iframe width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/enJF0q4bnDg"></iframe></p>
<p><br> <b>Stay tuned for more, Rockomaniacs!</b></p>
https://www.turfshowtimes.com/2015/4/1/8324665/100-worst-rock-n-roll-songs-of-all-time-80-71Charles_Martel2015-03-30T06:24:51-05:002015-03-30T06:24:51-05:00100 Worst Rock n' Roll Songs of All Time: 90-81
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<figcaption>Jim Dyson/Getty Images</figcaption>
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<p>The countdown continues as we hit the next patch of Rock n' Roll garbage!</p> <p><b>Here we go Rockomaniacs! The continuation of our countdown of the very worst that Rock n' Roll has to offer.</b></p>
<p><i>First, a bit of housekeeping-</i></p>
<p><i>We will be counting down every Monday, Wednesday and Friday until we hit the big <strike>cajone</strike> kahuna, so notify your google calender app now. In case you missed last weeks edition, you can find the top <a target="_blank" href="http://www.turfshowtimes.com/2015/3/26/8287419/100-worst-rock-n-roll-songs-of-all-time">100-91 here, </a>which includes the all important criteria for this list...</i></p>
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<p><b>90. <a target="_blank" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lWJXDG2i0A">Free Fallin'</a> Tom Petty</b><br> Here is another bunkum-ass song from a guy that I otherwise like like a lot. Why does this song get so much airplay, when Tom has so much other, far better stuff, to choose from?</p>
<p><br> <b>89. <a target="_blank" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XfRjVo5wOE">Rock and Roll All Night</a>, KISS</b><br> It is hard to take KISS seriously at all and thus they nearly didn't make this list, but this "Rock 'n Roll Anthem" made it, by virtue of it's stupidly simplistic and repetitious hook. Let me guess, it took about 30 seconds to write this claptrap?</p>
<p><br> <b>88. Cherry Pie, Warrant</b><br> One hit wonder suckage.....</p>
<p><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/OjyZKfdwlng" frameborder="0" height="315" width="560"></iframe></p>
<p><br> <b>87. <a target="_blank" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDCs7ijNUVM">It's a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock 'n' Roll)</a>, AC/DC</b><br> Another "Anthem". This one makes it to the list for it's hypocrisy(this hit came along very early and quickly for them), the annoying use of bagpipes and the latent sneer at other struggling bands, as well as the arrogance directed at their audience. Hmmm...Given all that, maybe it should have scored higher.</p>
<p><br> <b>86. <a target="_blank" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UIB9Y4OFPs">Pour Some Sugar on Me</a>, Def Leppard</b><br> Oh Dear God! Please just stop!</p>
<p><br> <b>85. <a target="_blank" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mln0RciE2o0">Whole Lotta Love</a>, Led Zeppelin</b><br> Led Zepp fans will have a rough time on this list.....their first suckage offering, comes along at #85</p>
<p><br> <b>84. Big Ten Inch, Aerosmith</b><br> Sexual innuendo is to Rock n' Roll, what 'stache is to Fisher, nevertheless this is just over the top and mindless. Yep, it sucks.</p>
<p><span><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/00zuDUNTeXM" frameborder="0" height="315" width="560"></iframe></span></p>
<p><br> <b>83. <a target="_blank" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0uWxB0JkFo">Jump</a>, Van Halen</b><br> The only offering from the original Van Halen line up. This is the point where David Lee Roth lost control of Eddie and the band degenerated into pop garbage.</p>
<p><br> <b>82. [Everything by], Iron Maiden</b><br> In the 80's, every Metalhead, loved this band...why? I'll just put the entire band at spot #82, since all of their crap sounds exactly the same and it all sucks equally.</p>
<p><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/sD9Hh_0nMgY" frameborder="0" height="315" width="560"></iframe></p>
<p><br> <b>81. <a target="_blank" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zT4Y-QNdto">Fly Like an Eagle</a>, Steve Miller Band</b><br> Another band that has some really good stuff, but this song sucks so bad.....what were they thinking? Nauseating, popish, heavy handed and taken far too seriously. This is true crappola. Also, it sucks that they suggest shooting kids who don't have any shoes- that's messed up.</p>
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<p align="center"><i><span>There are few cases in which mere popularity should be considered a proper test of merit; but the case of song writing is, I think, one of the few.<br><br>Edgar Allen Poe</span></i></p>
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<p align="center">So there we are Rock fans...it only gets worse from here!</p>
https://www.turfshowtimes.com/2015/3/30/8311051/100-worst-rock-n-roll-songs-of-all-time-90-81Charles_Martel