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Rams fans: Could you stomach a 49ers Super Bowl win this year?

Is voting to keep the 49ers out of the playoff picture an option?

San Francisco 49ers v Los Angeles Rams Photo by Michael Zagaris/San Francisco 49ers/Getty Images

Los Angeles Rams faithful, our darkest hour is upon us. It’s looking incredibly likely that the San Francisco 49ers might end up winning the Super Bowl this season.

Those words killed me to say and I’m afraid it’s going to come true. How should Rams fans stomach a potential Lombardi Trophy heading to the Bay Area as soon as this season?

Honestly, I couldn’t even tell you. I wouldn’t dare allow those thoughts to invade my cranium. Seriously, Deebo Samuel is annoying enough as it is with all his trash talk. He’ll be INSUFFERABLE with a Super Bowl ring on his finger.

The Niners have played in the last two NFC Championships and barring an unlikely upset, should be making their third straight appearance. At full strength, they’re easily the best team in the NFL. That much was certain last week when they went into Philadelphia and curb stomped the Eagles 42-19. ESPN analyst Dan Orlovsky generally says some pretty dumb stuff, yet I’ll agree with his point that the NFC is the Niners’ to lose.

Their three-game losing streak after starting the season 5-0 was fun and all. I was so excited about their (very) brief downfall that I even put those box scores on my Christmas card this year. That isn’t sad or anything, right?

Anyways, the 49ers will host the Seahawks in Week 14 in a game that will unofficially wrap up the NFC West. Of course the divisional race was already settled before the regular season even began. Why the hell did I pick those worthless Seachickens to win the West?! Sorry not sorry for jinxing you Seattle!

I believe the hardest pill to swallow about the Whiners is that I don’t even see a single AFC team that could beat them. The Chiefs can’t keep up with them with their below average receiving core. The Ravens can match their physicality but I don’t trust them making a deep playoff run. San Francisco whooped the Dolphins last season and Miami has a similar team offensively as they did in 2022. That’s it, that’s the list.

Wait no, the TRUE hardest pill to swallow is how Brock FREAKING Purdy is considered an MVP frontrunner. Purdy is elevated by everyone he throws to so much it’s sickening. I’ll admit that handsome baby-faced bastard fits that offense perfectly as he rarely makes mistakes that kill his team. You typically don’t see young signal callers with the poise he displays. But comparing him to Joe Montana or Tom Brady? Get the fork out of here with that crap!

I wish it was Festivus as I have so many grievances to air regarding this team. To answer the question of how Rams fans should handle a possible 49ers Super Bowl title, just be comforted by the knowledge it won’t last forever. Unless, God forbid, Kyle Shanahan’s squad turns into (gasp) a dynasty. Oh no, my head is spinning again. Where is my life-sized Aaron Donald plushie?

Although I heard college football once kept a good team from competing in the playoffs. Any chance that could apply to the NFL in an emergency? (I’m so sorry Florida State fans, you truly deserved better.)

Either way Turf Show Ramily, be prepared if the darkness engulfs us all in a sea of red and gold this February. May the football gods have mercy on our souls.