We’ve heard it before: the number of first round picks that the Rams have is none-of-the. What if instead they had all-of-the?
This is a 2021 mock draft if the Rams had every first round pick. No trades edition.
1. Los Angeles Rams - Evan McPherson, K, Florida
There’s no reason to hesitate on LA’s need for a kicker of the future. McPherson, who comes in at 5’9 and 180 lbs, marking some new first overall RECORDS, has been both consistent and long-distant during his career for the Gators.
2. Los Angeles Rams - DeVonta Smith, Punt Returner, Alabama
I’m elated to get a player who doubles as a wide receiver, but the goal here is to immediately upgrade the punt returning position from Nsimba Webster.
3. Los Angeles Rams - Rashawn Slater, C, Northwestern
Some say this is “too high” for Slater, but you’d have to be “too high” to not recognize the Rams’ need for interior offensive linemen. In the words of another Slater and his friends over at Bayside, when Johnny Dakota and NBC chairman of NBC Entertainment Brandon Tarkitoff made a special appearance: there is no hope with dope. Just say “Yes” to Rashawn Slater.
4. Los Angeles Rams - Alijah Vera-Tucker, G, USC
“I’m so excited, I’m so excited, I’m so scared.” - Rams fans last year worrying which interior lineman was going to get called for holding or allow a sack. Also, Jesse Spano in a semi-related drugs episode.
5. Los Angeles Rams - Landon Dickerson, C, Alabama
I don’t know, maybe Landon Dickerson is the best center or interior lineman in the draft? Whatever, he goes here.
6. Los Angeles Rams - Patrick Surtain, Jr., CB, Alabama
I was tempted to go with Patrick Surtain, Sr. here because I have 32 first round picks but opted to keep this reality where the Rams have 32 first round picks realistic. I think the Rams have found their future starter opposite of Jalen Ramsey.
7. Los Angeles Rams - Micah Parsons, LB, Penn State
The Rams should run to the podium if Parsons falls to them at 7.
8. Los Angeles Rams - Penei Sewell, OT, Oregon
Great spot for Sewell here and he forces Vera-Tucker to the bench during their rookie seasons.
9. Los Angeles Rams - Christian Barmore, DE, Alabama
Some would call “bullshit” on Barmore going higher than Gregory Rousseau, but they probably aren’t account for the Rams having 32 first round picks this year.
10. Los Angeles Rams - Ja’Marr Chase, WR, LSU
The wait in the green room is finally over for Chase, who goes to the Rams.
11. Los Angeles Rams - Jaylen Waddle, WR, Alabama
Not only are five of the top 11 picks out of Alabama, but they’re all going to play for the LA Rams. Imagine Stafford with Robert Woods, Cooper Kupp, Ja’Marr Chase, Jaylen Waddle, DeVonta Smith, Van Jefferson, and Trishton Jackson next year. Not to mention Marvin Jones.
12. Los Angeles Rams - Jose Borregales, K, Miami
Okay okay okay, I know you’re freaking out right now, but hear me out: a lot of the top-rated kickers end up becoming super big bummers. The highest drafted kicker in 2020 was Justin Rohrwasser. And the highest drafted kicker in 2019 was Matt Gay. The Rams current kicker. The Rams didn’t draft him. Imagine a kicking competition between Gay and two top-12 picks. Now that’s my kinda NFL.
13. Los Angeles Rams - Kyle Pitts, TE, Florida
The Rams probably wouldn’t even need all of the wide receivers they just drafted if they ended up getting a weapon at tight end like Pitts. Upgrading from Tyler Higbee — or seeing Higbee upgrade himself with a new quarterback throwing the ball — would elevate the Rams offense tremendously. Pitts could be a top-5 pick, but in this mock, he becomes the 13th player selected by the Rams.
14. Los Angeles Rams - Travis Etienne, Kick Returner, Clemson
I might consider using Waddle exclusively as a kick returner given the depth at receiver, but just in case Etienne gives the Rams a new complement to Cam Akers and important, vital depth at kickoff returner.
15. Los Angeles Rams - Trey Lance, QB, North Dakota State
Lance at 15 gives me a nice, solid, developmental backup quarterback who doesn’t rock my newly formed relationship boat with Matthew Stafford.
16. Los Angeles Rams - Christian Darrisaw, OT, Virginia Tech
It’s been a while since the Rams selected an offensive lineman and that seems like a mistake. Darrisaw may officially signal the end of Rob Havenstein’s time with the Rams.
17. Los Angeles Rams - Jaycee Horn, CB, South Carolina
If I’m running the Rams, what’s my goal next season if the doors are open? To sell tickets and to properly manage a roster with 32 first round rookies, not to mention that the Rams also have their other picks in rounds 2-7 in this scenario also. Nothing sells tickets more than bloodlines and after acquiring Surtain, Jr., LA picks Joe Horn’s son Jaycee with pick 17. This might allow the Rams to give Darious Williams the second round tender instead of the first.
18. Los Angeles Rams - Rhamondre Stevenson, FB, Oklahoma
The Rams haven’t used the fullback position much under Sean McVay, but they also haven’t had 32 first round picks. Actually since Sean McVay arrived, they haven’t had any first round picks. If not a fullback, Stevenson could replace Malcolm Brown and then some. He should be available here at 18. Maybe even at 98, should they choose to wait.
19. Los Angeles Rams - Trevon Moehrig, S, TCU
Might be a little high for Moehrig but this answers the John Johnson question. This realistic move answers the John Johnson question.
20. Los Angeles Rams - Zaven Collins, LB, Tulsa
A friend texted me about Collins earlier and that’s why I’m putting him here. If a friend tells me he’s excited about a player, and I have 32 first round picks, I’m using one on that player.
21. Los Angeles Rams - Nick Bolton, LB, Missouri
But, like, what if my friend is wrong, right? One of these two linebackers, plus seventh overall pick Micah Parsons, should help reinforce LA’s weak spot on defense. This draft has already given the Rams seven new defensive players, nine new offensive players, and five new special teams players in the top 21 picks alone. THAT is a record.
22. Los Angeles Rams - Zach Wilson, QB, BYU
Fans love bloodlines. But they lust over quarterbacks. And what created Beatlemania more than lust? It’s undeniable with song lyrics such as: “Lust, lust me do, You know I lust over you, So please, Lust me do” and “I’ve been in lust before and I found that lust was more than just holding hands.” In this universe, some of the Beatles songs have changed the word love to lust.
23. Los Angeles Rams - Gregory Rousseau, Edge, Miami
Okay all you Rousseau heads, put down the pitchforks.
24. Los Angeles Rams - Teven Jenkins, OT, Oklahoma State
If Darrisaw signaled the end of Havestein’s Rams career, does Jenkins signal the end of Darrisaw’s?
25. Los Angeles Rams - Joe Tryon, Edge, Washington
Would be very encouraged if a guy named “Tryon” ended up being the grittiest hustler in practice.
26. Los Angeles Rams - Quinn Meinerz, OL, Wisconsin-Whitewater
It’s not unprecedented but a D-III player going this high would be a strong endorsement of the Senior Bowl (where Meinerz excelled after not playing for over a year) and the Rams have already met with Meinerz. They probably didn’t expect to get him at 26, but they weren’t taking into account a world in which they had every first round pick.
27. Los Angeles Rams - Riley Patterson, K, Memphis
I know I’m going to get killed for this but I’m just really sketched out about kickers. And to be honest with you, I don’t even know how I’m going to fit all these guys on the roster! I’m in over my head here and I’ve only been GM for a few hours.
28. Los Angeles Rams - Caleb Farley, CB, Virginia Tech
I can’t believe this is only the third cornerback the Rams have taken so far.
29. Los Angeles Rams - Kwity Paye, DL, Michigan
He’s been staring in me in the face during this whole process. Just become a Rams first round pick already.
30. Los Angeles Rams - Rondale Moore, WR, Purdue
Hear me out: six-receiver sets.
31. Los Angeles Rams - Asante Samuel, Jr., CB, Florida State
32. Los Angeles Rams - Trevor Lawrence, QB, Clemson
Can you imagine if the Jaguars came this close again and didn’t get him?
Okay, there’s my mock draft. Go ahead, “rip me apart” for not switching my picks at 8 and 13.