NEW ORLEANS -- The fleur de lis is a symbol that is deeply ingrained in Louisiana's history. Seen in architecture, the state flag and on the helmets of the Saints, it's everywhere.
But while it is now seen as the mark of our great state, it was once used to mark slaves.
It is difficult to describe my relief that someone is finally addressing this grievous issue. For far too long, this symbol of hate and divisiveness has permeated the rank corridors of the NFL, tarnishing everything in it's path and polluting our children. Our children!
It is sickening that this symbol of oppression and hate has been allowed to fester---no!---actively promoted by the NFL. Appearing on televisions across the world, but of course never in a Super Bowl! Oh, no...can't have that. Since 1967 this travesty has gone unchecked. No more!
Sadly, it is not the only one. Over and over we see this rampant racism in cities all over the country, with the most blatant example right in our nations capital. I can't even type the nickname, as I tremble in rage. Such heartlessness! Zero empathy by this cold and merciless malefactor.
Then it gets worse.
The Vikings? All white men who raped and pillaged. Racists! Don't even get me started on the "Patriots" The Raiders? Buccaneers? Violent white people. How about the Titans? Those peace loving and noble Gods who were massacred in the world's first genocide? We "honor" them by naming a football team after them and subjecting them to ridicule? No. Sir.
I could go on and illustrate the bird teams and the avian flu connection, but you already know about that.
It is high time we dispensed with this nonsense.
All of it. It is time to put forth realistic and respectful football uniforms. It is time to take the NFL, kicking and screaming into the 21st century. A couple of friends of mine have suggested names like, the St. Louis Hugs or the Chicago Tolerance, but I say no...that just won't do. The risk of offending someone is just too great...I mean what about haphephobia? Obviously, the Hugs, just wouldn't cut it.
I for one am sick of it, but this problem doesn't have to be an endless one. With the help of a graphic artist friend of mine, we have come up with new uniforms for every team in the league. A focus group from Lake Oswego, Oregon, assured us over a round of lactose-free lattes that these uniforms are not offensive at all to anyone, nor could they ever be.
All of the NFL needs these and the sooner, the better.