Holiday season's are a miracle. They morph into an unending combination of life moments; some by choice, while others are positioned and planned by others...
There isn't anyone - who comes from a large family - that hasn't both welcomed, and/or rolled their eyes at the prospect of a family gathering for Christmas. Every one of our holiday chances to spend with family and friends should be cherished, but we don't always do that, do we? You see, I'm currently away from my New Mexico abode; my fortress of solitude, or whatever I want to gild it as being for me. I'm with my family - a large one indeed - out in beautiful, sunny Dana Point, California. I hate the traffic. I'm in awe of the great food and beautiful women, but the only thing I love here is my family...
This year, our family decided to gather for a dual celebration: My mother's 80th birthday (if she reads this, she'll categorically deny her age, and bend toward the standard "I'm 29!" answer she'd given us for years), and Christmas with my many siblings at the family home. Gatherings like these are probably where the idea of reality TV came from? There's drama, gossip, egos, and little tiffs that get sparked by mundane things. Yet, when all is said and done, none of the sideshow stuff matters. Visits like these are a coming together of families tied by birth and blood. They carry big time memory weight too. Mutually shared happiness or misery are great binders. No matter what drama unfolds, there's always going to be an undeniable linkage...
I know people who have stormy family gatherings, and instances where family members get mad; swearing to never speak to one another again. I feel kind of sad for these people, because they just don't get it. You can stay away, not speak, or whatever you want to do. But family is family, and the door is always there to walk back through.
My family is odd, in that while we're very close, constant communication between us hasn't ever been a necessity. My sisters probably talk between them more than my brother and I do. I love my brother, but we're very different people. He's gotten word of some health issues, and he - in his way - told me right after we said "hello". His way has a tendency to sting, but I'm not really sure if it's bravado or something else?
My sisters are all crazy. No, really! I mean this in a nice way of course, because they're probably the funniest people on the planet when they get together. Collectively, we drive my mother and step father nuts. But it's what families do, right?
So as I jot down this little missive, I began to wonder if everyone really appreciates the chances we have to gather with our families. My mom, siblings and I aren't getting any younger, and our chances to be together will wind down to a precious few. How about you? Do you take every advantage to be with your family? I know I could've done a better job in this area of my life, and its caused me to miss a lot of my nieces and nephews growing up. Most of them are married now, with kids of there own on the horizon. I wonder if they'll teach them to appreciate family time? The modern world is so complicated, but using this as an excuse is lame at best, given the knowledge of what's going to be missed. Yes, travel plans are a pain. Maybe you tell yourself a phone call will be good enough, and in truth, sometimes that's all there can be because life hands us what we can do...
You know, I had started a short story featuring a crazy lady who works for the Rams. But when I took a break, and stepped out onto the patio a while ago,smelling the ocean air on this mild southern California night, it just didn't seem right...
The whole Christmas thing isn't about presents. It's about family. It's not about lights and ornaments on trees. It's about the moment when the family gathers, and that big 'ol evergreen is merely a place marker. Christmas is about words spoken, and not. It's about hugs or handshakes; smiles and the oddest of feelings only being around family can bring. I think too many people put pressure on themselves at family gathers. They fester on the perceptions of others, and not why they're there in the first place. You're there - not to relive past miscues - but to revel in the unbreakable bond between you and your family.
If you are with your family this Christmas, it's a blessing indeed. If you aren't, make sure you call your parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins... We are the ties that binds our families.... Merry Christmas!