NFL picks, Week 4: Primordial soup of mismatches

Real football games officiated by real referees. I can't believe it's finally happening. That should greatly improve the quality of play for Week 4 in the NFL. Unless you liked the free-for-all atmosphere in the buildings on Sundays. In that case, I'm sure you can find other pursuits.

Hey, how about some picks for the week, yes?

Browns at Ravens

No way. This is about as lopsided a matchup as you'll find this week. Obviously, the Ravens will walk away with it.

Panthers at Falcons

Cam Newton is sad. In fact, he's so totally emo that he listened to ... um ... to some emo songs this week, which sums up my knowledge of emo music. The Falcons look like the best team in the NFL right now, and they should cruise in this one.

Patriots at Bills

I'm pretty excited for this game, and I think the Bills are going to keep a trend going in which they beat the Patriots in the first of their two regular season games.

Vikings at Lions

Iron, Lion, Zion ...Just thought I'd throw that out there. Which Vikings team is going to show up? I feel like this is a very Rams-like group. They can pull off the big win, like they did last week, and follow that up with a flat performance. I think the Lions win.

Titans at Texans

Uh, yeah, take Houston in this one.

Chargers at Chiefs

Kansas City is another one of those teams that could be in for some ups and downs. They beat the Saints, which is really nothing significant this year. The Chargers sometimes play very good football, but they are coached by Norv Turner who is something like the Houston Nutt of the NFL. Take the Chiefs.

49ers at Jets

Jim Harbaugh is mad, very mad. Oh, and the Jets don't have Revis anymore, so you know how this is going to go.

Seahawks at Rams

Yes, the Rams are going to somehow find a way to win this one, putting the Russell Wilson genie back in the bottle and somehow righting the cosmic wrongs done on Monday night.

Dolphins at Cardinals

Man, the Cardinals are pretty legit you guys. They have their weaknesses, but the Dolphins are not the team to expose them.

Raiders at Denver

Oakland is riding high from a win over Pittsburgh last week. Can they beat Peyton Manning at home? I think they can this week.

Bengals at Jaguars

Cincinnati is rolling these days, and will roll through the ancestral Florida home of Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Saints at Packers

Remember when this game used to be a marquee matchup ... last year? Now it's a glorified practice for Green Bay.

Redskins at Buccaneers

Greg Schiano could go into roid rage this week. I think the Redskins will win this one.

Giants at Eagles

This could be a pretty good game ... or the Eagles could totally fall apart. Hmm. I'll take Philly to win just because the NFC East is wack as shit, statistically speaking.

Bears at Cowboys

Another defensive battle. It Dallas' offense can actually do something, they can win for sure. The home crowd and an ability to beat up on Jay Cutler gives Dallas the win.