Coaching rumors: Jeff Fisher is not going to Auburn

It's getting to be that time of year where stupid rumors fill the gaps between the nearly incessant Zales jewelry advertisements. It all starts with coaching rumors, with college firings and NFL seasons spiraling into the abyss. You would think that the St. Louis Rams, having hired Jeff Fisher less than a year ago, would be immune to such talk. You would be wrong, because, well, because SEC.

The latest nonsense titillating the internet is the digital marriage of Jeff Fisher and Auburn, the SEC's red-headed step child that fired Gene Chizik this month when they realized he wasn't a very good coach without Cam Newton. Surprise! Fisher's names is coming up as a candidate.

Fisher's son plays at Auburn. Wouldn't he want to go coach his son?

Put it out of your head, to state the obvious. No matter how many blown coverages he has to endure from the back of his St. Louis secondary, the man whose never coached at any level other than the NFL isn't going to walk away from that for one of the SEC's more challenging rebuilding projects. Drafting is relatively easy compared to recruiting players in the same waters with sharks like Nick Saban.

Of course, all of that is conjecture on my part. But there's a more practice matter at hand, one that usually decides everything: money.

Stan Kroenke gave Fisher a five-year contract worth $35 million to turn the Rams from perennial footnote into a viable contender capable of luring fans back to the gate and coaxing stadium money out of a grateful populace. Leaving that contract would be a messy, costly matter for Fisher.

Okay, let's drop the Fisher talk. SEC people, Eagles fans, let's get back to Jon Gruden's annual tease.