How's our division looking

I got back from the bars not too long ago and struck out with the pretty little thing I was flurting with, so I need to talk some football. We all know what the Rams are looking like, unless you are somehow subscribed to the TST and not reading it ( FOR SHAME! ). I wanna know what everyone thinks of everyone else in our division. They suck, but I want to go a little deeper than that. Strengths? Weaknesses? Lets hear it. I guess I'll start...... after the jump? (first post =D)

The Mother @#$%ing Niners

I live in the bay area of California, so maybe my hatred of this team is a bit more than the rest of yous, but I will try not to let my bias (and alcohol consumption) affect my opinion.

  • Strengths: Tight end obviously. Vernon Davis is in the rare category I call "Beast mode". I don't think there's a LB in this league that can cover him, and I question even the ability of our safeties to cover him. He is going to be a nightmare. Luckily, the Niners have a huge glaring weakness in my opinion.....
  • Weaknesseses: QUARTERBACK obviously. Somewhere between college and the pros Alex Smith forgot he played QB. As good as Vernon Davis is, I'd bet a shiny gold doubloon that Alex Smith can't get him the ball consistently enough to win games. Davis is going to have his explosivo games where he blows a team away for 100+ yds and a TD or two, but as I previously stated, that is because he is beast mode. As long as Alex Smith is taking snaps, this team is committed to losing.
The Seahawks
My third most hated team (1st goes to Patriots, 2nd to Niners). Constantly a pain in the ass of every Rams fan. This team doesn't know how to die. I'll take a crack at em.
  • Strengths: Seems like everything on offense now that they have Sydney Rice and Zach Miller to team up with John Carlson and the resurgent Mike Williams. The offensive weapons of these @#$% suckers is probably the most talented in our division. Luckily, the talent on offense is supremely outmatched by their awesome weaknesses
  • The Weak Sauce: Everything on defense. Nuff said. Other than that, who believes Tarvaris Jackson is a winner? Not this drunkard. TJ is going to struggle getting the ball in the hands of his weapons, and as much as it kills me to say, as a staunch Cal Golden Bears fan, Marshawn Lynch has not, and will not, be a successful NFL RB. Other than one psychotically beast mode run, he did nothing for them last year, and I see that continuing this year.
The Cards
I can't believe we lost to these guys last year. I don't even want to think about it. This year, their whole season pretty much rides on their new QB, just like last year their whole season depended on the cluster @#$% of a QB rotation they had last year. Let me take a gander.
  • Strengths: They did pick up Heap at TE, which is an upgrade for them, but that is similar to the upgrade we received at OLB this year. Still, Heap has hands, and if he can stay healthy ( IF ) he could be a real challenge for our LB core to cover. Beanie and Hightower (if he returns) are also solid, if not inconsistent, RBs. And there is always the terror that is Fitzgerald (beast mode qualifier). And then we get to what makes me feel all warm and cozy inside
  • Weak City: Defense again. Lost their only legitimate corner in Rodgers-Cromartie. Peterson is an impressive rookie, but it's hard to tell with rookies, and CB is one of the tougher positions for a young player to adjust to. Other than Adrian Wilson (possible beast mode nominee) there isn't much to fear on this D. I question the quality of their entire front 7. And then of course there is Kevin Kolb, who I am not sold on. He has shown flashes of greatness, and the tendency to throw straight up awful passes. If he has been consistent in one thing, it is inconsistency. Consistently inconsitant, if you will.
Well that's all I have to say. I would like to thank auto-correct for helping me spell every other word in this post, because I'm having trouble hitting the keys correctly. Feel free to tell me how wrong I am, and I will gladly ignore you, or maybe I'll have some smart ass comment for a rebuttal, who knows.