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Jagshemash! Most Glorious Week 9 Rundown of Power Rankings

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It getting harder not to let hte hype around Borat effect me. The mere knowledge that in just about 24 hours from now - I'm punchin' out early to catch the afternoon matinee - I'll be laughing my ass off while an English bloke pretending to be a Central Asian-come-American neophyte completely deconstructs our society in comdey filled hours.

In a quest for "cultural learnings," I doubt that anyone would think to check the various NFL power rankings. Oh, the opportunity they're missing!

With an eye toward learning something, let's take a look at the Rams and their respective place in the journalistic filler known as power rankings.

ESPN - 18 (14)
If you needed proof that they're phoning it in (I should talk) over at the Mutha Ship, read this (from the scouting report):

this matchup looks to create a defensive chess match between two very good defenses that have outstanding secondaries.
What? This is what happens when your staff spends more time developing and testing winning catch phrases rather than take a few minutes to do some cursory research about the teams they're writing about. A half second check of each team's record/scores from this season should be enough to key you in on the fact that niether one of these teams has a "very good defense" with "outstanding secondaries."

That was still a pretty big drop in the rankings. In a witty tie in to Halloween, each team gets a "trick" and a "treat" (why didn't the Vikings' Fred Smoot get both?). Our "trick" reveals a little more cognitive dissonance, "The defense ... still. It's better, but at No. 27 overall and against the run, it's still a problem."

Cultural learning: If you're the biggest name on the block, you can pretty much say anything you want with no fear of consequence.

Football Outsiders - 14 (14)

The DVOA analysis system doesn't like the Rams defense; get in line.

Pro Football Weekly - 18 (17)

PFW, whoever they are, has my vote for money quote of the week...at least as far as rankings are concerned. They explain their ranking thusly, "Remember when Jim Haslett had this defense all fixed up?"

No, we don't remember such a thing, but we'll take your word for it.

CBS Sportsline - 18 (16)
CBS' Pete Prisco gives Rams fans a little hope, reminding them that at 4-3, the division race is far from over. Thankfully, he forgot to remind us just how bad the NFC West really is. How bad are they? Well, the division as whole is on an 0-13 streak!

Yahoo! - 11 (7)
Yahoo! has really beat the drum on Merriman screwing, er, um, manipulating the system in order to play against the Rams, and that's reflected in their rankings. Kudos to you Yahoo!

Sports Illustrated - 16 (13)
Pile on the defense, kick 'em while they're down, it's not like TST hasn't added a few swats, but SI runs down the run problems the Rams have had this season. Shall we?
LT - 183 yards rushing
Frank Gore - 127 yards rushing
Tatum Bell - 103 yards
Mo Morris - 74 yards
Kevin Jones - 93 yards
Noah Herron - 106 yards
Yeah, so what you're saying is that the Rams have had one game - against the lowly Cardinals - where the team's No. 1 running back didn't have a big day. You know what that means? You suck Cardinals (football), you sure do suck!

Guest Rankings of the Week
Real Football 365 - 15 (10)
Impressive that they had the Rams as high as the 10th spot last week. Because we here at the TST try to be as ridiculously partisan as possible (the post modernist in me likes to expose the absurdity of rankings, or something like that), we may have to come back to RealFootball365 for rankings info. They point out that Bulger deserves serious consideration for the MVP award. Hey, can't argue with a site claiming to be "all football, all the time" now can we?

That a quick look at the power rankings. Just remember, you, the reader, will always be #1 in OUR power rankings.

Or something like that.