Let’s be honest, now. This year, "S.E.C. Power Poll" is a bit of a misnomer. "S.E.C. Weakness Poll" would be more like it, complete with a countdown from worst to first, from "weakest" to "least weak team of the week." Unfortunately, I don’t have the ability to change the format of the balloting, so here are the teams of the Southeastern Conference, arrayed from best (such as it is) to worst:

1. Florida: Every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings, and, every time a prominent Gator coach or player mists up in public, the Orange and Blue cut a swath of destruction through all in their path. If word gets out of Gainesville that Urban Meyer and Tim Tebow plan to spend Friday night watching the Lifetime Network with a box of Kleenex and a Sara Lee pound cake sitting on the table between them, you’ll know a truly epic thumping is coming in the Georgia Dome.

2. Alabama: The Crimson Tide finally took out their frustrations on someone by hauling Auburn behind the woodshed. As impressive as it was, though, ‘Bama was only approximately as dominant as Florida was against a much better team. Nevertheless, the Red Elephants are undefeated . . . and I seem to recall a Sugar Bowl at the end of the 1992 season that pitted poor old overmatched Alabama, a team that just scraped by and hadn’t beaten anyone, against an invincible squad from the Sunshine State that was going to ruin the Tide’s unbeaten season. Does anybody remember how that game turned out for Alabama?

3. Ole Miss: The Rebels, who beat the Gators in Gainesville and very nearly defeated the Crimson Tide in Tuscaloosa, are the third-best team in the conference. That’s not exactly a sign of the Apocalypse, but it ain’t far off. (I hope it’s just far enough off, though, because the last thing I want is for the world to end with Georgia Tech holding a one-game winning streak over Georgia, because you know we’d be hearing about that for all eternity, to the point where, ultimately, we’d have to have a "Best of Times"-style loser-leaves-Heaven rematch between the Bulldogs and the Yellow Jackets in the afterlife. Hey, if we’re going to sing "to Hell with" each other, we might as well make it literal.)

4. Georgia: This ranking should be taken as indicative of the fact that eight S.E.C. teams are even worse than we are and should in no way be confused with a compliment to the most disappointing Red and Black club since 2000. Nothing I’ve seen this season has been on a par with the Quincy Carter five-interception game in Williams-Brice Stadium or the ignominy of an O’ahu Bowl berth, but it’s worse than anything I’ve seen in the interim.

5. Louisiana State: How does that work, exactly? If you lose your starting quarterback, you start giving up 30+ points per game to every opponent with a pulse? I guess, if your new starting quarterback was designed in a Cal Tech laboratory to be a perpetual-motion pick-six machine, it could cause some scores to get out of hand.

6. South Carolina: I think some school consolidation is in order in the Palmetto State. As distasteful as it might be to both fan bases, think of the advantages of combining Clemson and South Carolina into a single school. That way, the university could field the Gamecocks from Labor Day weekend through mid-October, then field the Tigers from mid-October through Thanksgiving. The team would never go worse than 10-2!

It’s possible you could duplicate that effect by combining Vanderbilt’s early season with Tennessee’s late season.

7. Vanderbilt: A quarter-century of tireless effort has allowed the Commodores to break through the glass ceiling and achieve the genuine mediocrity of which every Vandy fan has dreamt for as long as he can remember.

8. Kentucky: The Wildcat fans are going to basketball games, the rest of us are ignoring U.K. completely, Rich Brooks is pouring himself a Scotch, and Joker Phillips is counting the days. The fact that this team merely inspires utter indifference from all concerned earns Kentucky a No. 8 ranking in the league, because it’s better to be inconsequential than bad.

9. Tennessee: When the Volunteers’ rallying cry became, "Let’s go out and beat Vandy and Kentucky!" it was official that Rocky Top had hit rock bottom. The Lane Kiffin hire doesn’t impress or scare me. If you think hiring an underwhelming coach is a good idea because of who his father is, I’d like to introduce you to a fellow by the name of Mike Shula.

10. Arkansas: The win over L.S.U. was huge. Good for the Razorback players for sending Bobby Petrino out a winner in his last game before bolting for whichever job he’s taking later this month.

"I’m proud to be the new head coach at Tennessee Clemson Auburn! Wait . . . the Auburn job isn’t open yet? Well, that never stopped me from accepting it before!"

11. Auburn: It’s a good thing the Plainsmen lost last Saturday, because, if they hadn’t, the Yellowhammer State would have reverberated for the next year with the cry, "Fear the ring finger of the other hand!"

12. Mississippi State: Class act that he is, Sylvester Croom recognized that last season was a statistically anomalous aberration and fell on his sword like a good soldier should. Sly, you have just been self-Croomed.

That’s how it looks from here, but, then, I’m cold and mad and dejected, and that may have affected my judgment, so, by all means, let me know whether and where you take issue with any of the foregoing.

Go ‘Dawgs!

It’s official: 2008 stinks. More specifically, both the S.E.C. generally and Georgia specifically stink in 2008, and, frankly, if both the S.E.C. and Georgia are going to be down in the same year, well, to my way of thinking, that’s synonymous with the whole year stinking in toto.

Perhaps for the first time ever, being a member of the Southeastern Conference actively operated against a team’s prospects for being ranked in my top 25. At the end of the day, this is the BlogPoll ballot I cast, which remains open for revision through Wednesday morning, so I invite your critiques of the following:

Rank	Team	Delta
1	Oklahoma	2
2	Texas	--
3	Florida	1
4	Texas Tech	1
5	Alabama	4
6	Penn State	--
7	Southern Cal	--
8	Utah	--
9	Ohio State	1
10	Boise State	2
11	Georgia Tech	4
12	Cincinnati	2
13	Michigan State	3
14	Boston College	4
15	Oregon	6
16	Pittsburgh	4
17	Mississippi	7
18	TCU	4
19	Ball State	6
20	Missouri	7
21	Oklahoma State	12
22	Virginia Tech	4
23	North Carolina	--
24	Georgia	13
25	Oregon State	8

Dropped Out: Florida State (#19).

Yes, Oklahoma (11-1) lost to Texas (11-1) head to head. The Sooners also annihilated Texas Tech (11-1) and the Red Raiders beat the Longhorns. Accordingly, the retort to everyone brandishing a "45-35" sign is: "39-33."

Texas beat Oklahoma, Missouri (9-3), and Oklahoma State (9-3), in that order of impressiveness. That is a weightier set of victories than that compiled by Texas Tech, which beat Texas, Oklahoma State, and Nebraska (8-4). However, the ‘Horns also assembled a resume less impressive than that put together by Oklahoma, which beat Texas Tech, Cincinnati (10-2), Texas Christian (10-2), Oklahoma State, and Nebraska. Thus, the Sooners are No. 1, the Longhorns are No. 2, and the Red Raiders are No. 4.

The only team able to keep the Big 12 South from locking up the top three spots on my ballot was Florida (11-1), which continued to make good on Tim Tebow’s teary-eyed promise to beat the crap out of everyone after the Gators’ increasingly forgivable loss to Ole Miss (8-4). Despite U.F.’s devalued wins over Georgia (9-3), Florida State (8-4), and Miami (7-5), the thoroughness with which the Saurians are dominating the opposition enabled them to inch up a notch.

Alabama (12-0) fell to fifth despite the Crimson Tide’s dominant performance against the Plainsmen because the team’s marquee win at Georgia looks increasingly meaningless, leaving as the only sparkling jewel in the Red Elephants’ crown a four-point home win over Mississippi.

The sixth, seventh, and eighth spots on my ballot remained the property of Penn State (11-1), Southern California (10-1), and Utah (12-0) because their respective resumes remained unchanged. The Nittany Lions and the Utes had open dates and the Trojans faced Notre Dame (6-6), which has been the functional equivalent of a bye for most of the last decade and a half.

Ugly losses (and subsequent plummets) by the teams I had ranked ninth, eleventh, and 13th enabled Ohio State (10-2) and Boise State (12-0) to sneak upwards slightly and, after sitting out in the cold and rain for four hours on Saturday watching it all unfold, I had no choice but to rank Georgia Tech (9-3) eleventh, awarding the Yellow Jackets the ranking previously belonging to the ‘Dawgs. Yes, that makes me want to puke, too. We lost to a guy named Josh Nesbitt who kneels down so far under center that he looks like a duck being stuffed inside the turkey’s butt in preparation for the cooking of a turducken. If we were Japanese instead of Georgian, we’d have to kill ourselves with seppuku swords to restore the lost honor of our ancestors. Did I mention that 2008 stinks?

Incremental gains were made by Cincinnati, Michigan State (9-3), and Boston College (9-3), who remained in the same sequence relative to one another, and performances of varying degrees of impressiveness and significance allowed reasonably large leaps to be made by Oregon (9-3), Pittsburgh (8-3), Ole Miss, and Ball State (12-0). Due to a dearth of otherwise qualified teams, T.C.U. came along for the ride, landing at No. 18.

Nothing in the win over Duke posted by North Carolina (8-4) gave me cause to move the Tar Heels, who stayed parked at No. 23, and canings of various levels of severity and shame caused a substantial drop in the value of the stock of Missouri, Oklahoma State, Georgia, and Oregon State (8-4).

That left me with 24 teams for 25 spots, so Virginia Tech (8-4) sneaked into the No. 22 slot, just ahead of the U.N.C. squad V.P.I. defeated. Yes, I know the Hokies lost to the selfsame Seminoles whom I dropped from the poll, but Frank Beamer’s bunch beat Georgia Tech and Nebraska in addition to the Tar Heels, whereas F.S.U.’s only other even vaguely impressive pelt was that of the Hurricanes.

I gave thought to ranking Northwestern (9-3), Iowa (8-4), Brigham Young (10-2), and Nebraska, who, respectively, are my de facto 26th through 29th teams.

I watched the Ball State-Western Michigan game on Tuesday and the Texas-Texas A&M game on Thursday. On Friday, I watched all of the Mississippi-Mississippi State and Arizona State-U.C.L.A. games and parts of the Pitt-West Virginia, Arkansas-Louisiana State, and Boise State-Fresno State games. On Saturday, I attended the Georgia-Georgia Tech game and was not thereafter tempted to watch any college football for the remainder of the day.

Let me know what about that ballot appears to you to be amiss or uncertain. I will happily answer any questions, address any constructive criticisms, and make appropriate adjustments if presented with sufficiently persuasive arguments.

Go ‘Dawgs!

I begin in the only way it is appropriate for me to begin, by congratulating Paul Johnson and the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets on a well played game of football in which they were the better team and received the victory they had earned.

Having said that, let me also say this: I have had a long day. We had out-of-town relatives in the Atlanta area for Thanksgiving, one of whom went with me to the game. Despite the weather and the outcome, we had a nice outing, as I went to Sanford Stadium with the husbands of both of my sisters-in-law---I call them my brothers-in-law, although, technically, that is not correct; they are the men who are married to the women who are my wife’s sisters---but, because different people had to be gotten to different places afterwards, I left my house at 7:30 this morning and returned home around 9:45 tonight.

Consequently, I have not read any FanPosts or comments left at Dawg Sports since roughly 11:00 last evening. If anything needs addressing, it will be addressed tomorrow; if any of what follows repeats points already made, I regret the redundancy, although I believe these points bear making and reiterating, so I will not be saddened to learn that others are entertaining similar thoughts---not visceral reactions; thoughts, arrived at over a period of years and after sober reflection---and I hope a cogent conversation follows.

This posting might have been, but is not, the 82nd installment of the Mark Richt Victory Watch. Certainly, Mohamed Massaquoi, playing in his last game between the hedges, performed at a level fully deserving of victory. Matthew Stafford and Knowshon Rockwell Moreno, also probably playing in Sanford Stadium for the final time, showed grit, heart, and determination that were worthy of a win. The Bulldogs’ much-maligned offensive line generally played capably and the criticisms of Mike Bobo as an offensive coordinator hopefully were silenced by the former Georgia quarterback’s fine play calling. The offense, in short, played well enough to have produced an eighth straight victory over our in-state rival.

Offense, however, is not the only phase of the game. It’s just the only phase of the game at which the Bulldogs performed as well as or better than the Yellow Jackets.

The following facts all are facts:

• In the first century of Georgia football (1892-1991), the Red and Black lost two games in which they scored at least 28 points. During that same period, the Classic City Canines never lost a game in which they scored at least 29 points.



• During the Ray Goff and Jim Donnan eras (1989-2000), the Bulldogs lost seven games in which they scored at least 28 points, falling 34-31 to Tennessee in 1992, 42-28 to Auburn in 1993, 29-28 to Alabama in 1994, 43-30 to Vanderbilt in 1994, 37-31 to Auburn in 1995, 45-34 to Auburn in 1997, and 51-48 to Georgia Tech in 1999.



• During the aforementioned Ray Goff and Jim Donnan eras, Georgia had five defensive coordinators: Richard Bell (1989-1993), Marion Campbell (1994), Joe Kines (1995-1998), Kevin Ramsey (1999), and Gary Gibbs (2000).



• During the four years in which Brian VanGorder served as Georgia’s defensive coordinator (2001-2004), the Bulldogs lost ten games. In those ten games, the ‘Dawgs scored nine, ten, 17, 16, 13, ten, 13, 13, 14, and six points, respectively.



• During the four years in which Willie Martinez has served as Georgia’s defensive coordinator (2005-2008), the Bulldogs have lost twelve games. In those twelve games, the ‘Dawgs scored ten, 30, 35, 33, 22, 14, 20, twelve, 14, 30, ten, and 42 points, respectively.

To reiterate: Georgia scored 28 points in defeat just twice in the first 100 years of Red and Black football; Georgia never scored more than 28 points in defeat in the first 100 years of Red and Black football; Georgia scored 28 or more points in defeat seven times in the twelve years of the Ray Goff and Jim Donnan eras, during which the Bulldogs had five different defensive coordinators; Georgia never scored more than 17 points in defeat during the four years that Brian VanGorder served as Georgia’s defensive coordinator; Georgia has scored more than 28 points in defeat five times during the four years that Willie Martinez has served as Georgia’s defensive coordinator; and Georgia has not scored 28 or more points in defeat more than twice during the tenure of any previous defensive coordinator in Bulldog history.

Injuries have played a role in the failure of this Georgia team to live up to expectations. However, the offensive line has been hit hard by injuries, yet Stacy Searels appears to have found a way to get his players who are healthy enough to play to perform well as a unit and Mike Bobo appears to have found a way to put together an effective offense despite the loss of some key players. This is called coaching.

Injuries do not excuse all shortcomings. Injuries do not explain defensive players being out of position. Injuries do not justify an inability to make open field tackles. Injuries cannot account for why teams are able to outscore Georgia in the second half when Brian VanGorder’s defenses made a habit of slamming the door after intermission. Injuries are not the reason why an option team is able to make big gains despite the fact that everyone in the stadium knows (or ought to know) that the ball is going to the pitch man.

Georgia Tech had possession of the ball seven times in the second half in Athens this afternoon. The Yellow Jackets’ first drive went 60 yards in one play for a touchdown. Their second drive went 56 yards in ten plays for a touchdown. Their third drive went 23 yards in one play for a touchdown. Their fourth drive went 76 yards in seven plays for a field goal. Their fifth drive went six yards in three plays and ended in a punt. Their sixth drive went 70 yards in six plays for a touchdown. Their seventh drive picked up the first down that allowed the visitors to run out the clock.

If two of the Engineers’ seven second-half drives had ended in punts, Georgia would have won the game. Just a pair of three-and-outs would have put the ball back in Matthew Stafford’s hands and the offense would have found a way to finish the drill. The defense did not give the offense that chance. I do not lay this at the feet of the young men wearing silver britches, who played with passion and who managed to avoid some of the foolish penalties that have plagued the ‘Dawgs this season. I lay this failure at the feet of the defensive coaching staff, of the coordinator charged with the responsibility for that side of the ball, and, if sufficient steps are not taken, of the head coach charged with the ultimate responsibility for everything that happens in this program.

Georgia Tech deserved to win the game and a commitment to class even in the face of defeat compels us to tip our caps to the best college football team in the Peach State, which today calls North Avenue and not the Classic City home. However, a decent defensive effort on the Bulldogs’ part would have produced a victory, and that calls upon us as fans to ask reasonable questions in a responsible manner.

As I noted earlier, I have not yet read any of the FanPosts or comments to have appeared at Dawg Sports in roughly the last 24 hours. I will get to them later, but it is my hope that a civil and sensible tone has been maintained. I have not ventured elsewhere in the blogosphere this evening, so I do not know what has been written in other parts of "The Dawgosphere." I regret it if the foregoing is repetitive, although this a subject of sufficient significance to warrant our ongoing attention.

The act of addressing harsh realities requires the act of asking hard questions. Many good men are being compensated handsomely to mold the talented student-athletes enrolled at the University of Georgia into a championship-caliber team and most of these men are succeeding admirably at their jobs.

Georgia gave up 41 points to Alabama, 38 points to Louisiana State, 49 points to Florida, 38 points to Kentucky, and 45 points to Georgia Tech. It is time for one of the good men mentioned above to explain why he deserves to continue collecting a paycheck for serving as the defensive coordinator of the Georgia Bulldogs and it is time for another of those good men to perform his duty as the head coach of the Georgia Bulldogs by taking the only appropriate step if that explanation proves to be inadequate.

Go ‘Dawgs!

Now that the Bulldogs are done with their lengthy trip away from Athens, it’s time once again to tee it up between the hedges! Feel free to join in the conversation by posting your thoughtful critiques, visceral reactions, and emotional exclamations in the comments below.

This is also the occasion for announcing this week’s honorary game captain. Honestly, it seemed to me that there could be only one choice for this distinction:

Continue reading this post »

I hope everyone had a healthy and happy Thanksgiving. We are on the eve of Clean Old-Fashioned Hate and the time has come for me to offer my weekly pregame statistical and historical breakdown of the Bulldogs’ upcoming opponent.

This time, it’s pretty straightforward:

We’re Georgia. They’re Georgia Tech.

My Prediction: Georgia 31, Georgia Tech 20.

Go ‘Dawgs!

Together, we have traveled around the S.E.C. and gone through the national games of interest. Ere I get to my upcoming breakdown of historical and statistical minutiae concerning Georgia’s upcoming game against Georgia Tech, however, I have the responsibility of announcing the national game of disinterest.

This, quite simply, is the least intriguing game of the week, one which features teams about which I do not care in a clash with respect to which I do not feel moved either to declare a rooting interest or even to take the effort to learn the outcome after the fact.

This week’s national game of disinterest is . . .

Continue reading this post »

Yesterday, I took you around the S.E.C., so the time has come for me to provide you with the national picks for the upcoming holiday weekend. I actually went 3-1 in last week’s nationwide prognostications to improve to 40-31, but I was way wrong about the one I missed, so my usual disclaimer still very much applies. Whatever you do . . . Don’t Bet On It!

Here are this week’s national contests of note, the first of which will be played on Friday, November 28:

West Virginia at Pittsburgh: Both Big East teams sport 7-3 records. The Mountaineers are half a game out of first place in the league. The Panthers are in fourth place in the conference. Can someone remind me again why I think Pitt is having a better season than W.V.U.? There may not be a game anywhere in America involving two B.C.S. conference clubs that features two head coaches in whom I repose less faith than this chess checkers tic-tac-toe rock-paper-scissors match between Bill Stewart and Dave Wannstedt; there has not been so little sideline acumen assembled in a single stadium since Bill Curry coached alone. I’m going with West Virginia for no particularly good reason.

Maryland at Boston College: The only reason this game doesn’t represent a crucial contest in the determination of the Big East bowl pecking order is that both of these teams inexplicably find themselves in the Atlantic Coast Conference. Go figure. In a league as topsy-turvy as the A.C.C., I’m hesitant to pick the better team to win, but surely nothing in nature suggests that a Terrapin is capable of fending off an Eagle, right?

The namesake of the oldest college of the University of Georgia may have wanted our national symbol to be the bird we’ll all be eating tomorrow evening, but there’s a reason no one ever advocated making a turtle an American emblem.

Fresno State at Boise State: Remember back in the preseason when we thought this one would be worth circling on the calendar? A funny thing happened on the way to the Golden State Bulldogs’ full-fledged return to Western Athletic Conference prominence. The West Coast F.S.U. isn’t a bad team by any means, but the Broncos are the class of the league by a good-sized margin and that fact will not change this Saturday, as Boise State will improve to 12-0. Do not doubt the mojo of the blue turf.

Oregon at Oregon State: This year’s Battle of the Color-Blind Equipment Managers Battle of the Webbed Feet (sorry; "Civil War" is not a term my people use, although I’ll be happy to call it "The War Within the State") carries extra added significance, despite the fact that Jacquizz Rodgers’s shoulder injury may represent a departure from the expected script for the Beavers, who are one win away from plunging over the precipice separating the they-haven’t-been-to-the-Rose-Bowl-in-how-long? feel-good story of the college football season from the they’re-being-rematched-in-a-bowl-with-a-team-that-beat-them-how-badly-in-September? ratings-deflating disappointment of the college football postseason. Although the Ducks have matched their in-state rivals in overall record (8-3) and are but a game behind O.S. in the conference standings, Oregon’s wins have come over teams with a combined ledger of 27-62, which is why I resisted ranking the squad from Eugene for so long. Even with Rodgers sidelined, I like Oregon State to close the deal in Corvallis.

Oklahoma at Oklahoma State: Was ever there a team in a more prime position for a letdown than the Sooners in Stillwater this Saturday? The Cowboys, being the "little brothers" in this series, likely take the game more seriously than O.U. Bob Stoops’s troops are coming down off of a huge victory in Norman that has everyone talking about division crowns, poll rankings, and national championships . . . everything, in short, except for Saturday’s game. The Pokes are coming off of an open date and O.S.U. is playing at home. The problem, though, is that Coach Stoops reminded us last weekend how he got the nickname "Big Game Bob," whereas Mike Gundy’s lifetime record against Oklahoma, both as a quarterback and as a head coach, is 0-7. This weekend will make it 0-8 as the visitors register the victory, Sooner or later.

As long as we’re working a Stephen Colbert theme here, I’d like to remind everyone that Oklahoma is on notice!

I feel pretty good all right utterly uncertain about some most all of those picks, so, if I’m not sure, you clearly shouldn’t be. The lesson to be learned from my self-doubt is simple: Don’t Bet On It!

Coming Soon: National Game of Disinterest.

Go ‘Dawgs!

The final weekend of the regular season is upon us, so every team in the league is diving into the deep end for a final 60 minutes’ worth of action. Even with what I erroneously thought was a bold prediction that Ole Miss would beat L.S.U. (with respect to which C&F quite reasonably asked whether it was an upset if everyone saw it coming), I still only broke even in last week’s S.E.C. picks to fall to 62-16 in conference contests. At this point, I shouldn’t even have to tell you this, but, then again, no one should need a warning label anymore to know that smoking cigarettes is bad for their health, so let me reiterate: Don’t Bet On It!

These are the games on the docket for this week, the first two of which will be played on Friday, November 28, in order to make us even more thankful:

Louisiana State at Arkansas: Does anyone else remember when this game used to be a big deal? You know, like, last year? Although the Tiger faithful have concerns about the direction of their program, this is strictly a brief downcycle for an elite team; that’s a very different thing from being in the position of the Razorbacks, who are suffering the consequences of decades of mismanagement by a self-serving athletic director who hung on too long, tolerance for a climate of rabid fan animosity towards a successful coach that got out of hand even by S.E.C. standards, and the hiring of a quick-fix artist whose commitment issues would make him a fit subject for a Cosmo quiz. Add to that the fact that the Bayou Bengals are looking to end their season on a high note and have revenge on their minds, and it all adds up to an L.S.U. victory.

Mississippi State at Ole Miss: My sister-in-law and her husband are University of Mississippi alumni and we’ll be seeing them at Thanksgiving, so this is a game to which I particularly am looking forward, as it combines family, football, and Thanksgiving leftovers. Who among us doesn’t enjoy watching the Egg Bowl while eating from the deviled egg bowl? I’d pick the Rebels on general principle, but it helps that they’re good and M.S.U. is bad.

Florida at Florida State: I’ll admit it; I had given the Seminoles up for dead, not just as a team, but as a program. It had been my belief that F.S.U. might never be good again, and certainly wouldn’t return to national prominence until Bobby Bowden ceased to stroll the sideline. The ‘Noles, however, have improved substantially. They just haven’t improved nearly enough to compete with Florida.

Vanderbilt at Wake Forest: It seems to me the math on this one is pretty simple. The Commodores beat Ole Miss by six points in Oxford. The Demon Deacons beat Ole Miss by two points in Winston-Salem. Taking home field advantage into account, Vandy ought to be about a touchdown better than Wake. Of course, my math skills weren’t good enough to get me into, say, Vanderbilt or Wake Forest, so I’m going with the Deacs to conquer the Commies.

Kentucky at Tennessee: I have an interesting exercise I would challenge you to attempt. Try to identify the latest date on which you would have looked at me funny had I said to you: "Rich Brooks will outlast Phillip Fulmer as a head coach in the Southeastern Conference." For all the disappointments this season has held in Knoxville, however, the Volunteers proved in their win over the ‘Dores that they are not done fighting for the Great Pumpkin, at least insofar as division rivals the Big Orange historically have owned are concerned. This week will be no exception, as Tennessee will send Coach Fulmer out a winner in his last game at the U.T. helm.

South Carolina at Clemson: I will confess to having a disproportionate degree of interest in this game. Because Georgia will visit Fort Hill in 2013, the Tigers’ next head coach almost certainly will be on the sideline in Memorial Stadium when Mark Richt leads the Red and Black back into Death Valley. Although Clemson football owes its genesis to Auburn through such figures as Walter Riggs and John Heisman, it is to the other half of the Iron Bowl that the Country Gentlemen have been beholden in their modern incarnation: Jess Neely and Tommy Bowden both served as assistant coaches at Alabama; Frank Howard and Hootie Ingram both played for the Crimson Tide; Charley Pell and Danny Ford each played and coached for Bear Bryant in Tuscaloosa. That is why I hope Ron Morris is right that Dabo Swinney will be the next head football coach of the Clemson Tigers. Coach Swinney walked on at ‘Bama as a wide receiver in 1990, was a scholarship player for the Tide from 1990 to 1992, made academic all-S.E.C. and earned two degrees from the University of Alabama, served as a graduate assistant at his alma mater from 1993 to 1995, and coached wide receivers and tight ends for the Red Elephants from 1996 to 2000. As an Alabama guy, he’s just a natural fit for a program at which six of the nine coaches to have served since 1931 have had ties to the Tide. Because I’m rooting for the symmetry that Coach Swinney’s hiring would bring, I’m picking Clemson to win by the shores of Lake Hartwell against the Palmetto State Poultry.

I will, however, concede the possibility that I may just like my team’s chances against a longstanding rival if that opponent is coached by someone who looks like Jack from "Will and Grace." (Associated Press photograph by Mary Ann Chastain.)

Auburn at Alabama: Don’t think this one won’t be close. Every last one of the Plainsmen’s S.E.C. outings this autumn has been a tight ballgame. The Red Elephants are winning ugly without really overpowering anyone. Auburn has had the psychological edge in this series for the last several years and the Tigers may be battling to save their head coach’s job. Auburn will give the Tide faithful more than their fair share of nervous moments. In the end, though, ‘Bama isn’t about to have its perfect season ruined by its fiercest rival. Naturally, I’ll be rooting for the Crimson Tide, because anybody who hates Auburn is all right by me.

Those are this weekend’s S.E.C. picks, for whatever limited value they may have. While I hope they kept you at least somewhat entertained, and maybe even made you a little bit better informed, I must emphasize---and I cannot stress this strongly enough---that, whatever transpires, you must remember this one thing: Don’t Bet On It!

Coming Soon: National Games of Interest.

Go ‘Dawgs!

Whose idea was this S.E.C. Power Poll, anyway? Why did we have to pick a down year for the conference to do this? I mean, for crying out loud, we all know the Big 12 is the tougher league this year, but do we have to advertise it by running through the rogues’ gallery in such embarrassing fashion on a weekly basis? I never should have agreed to this, but, in for a buck, in for a bundle, I suppose. Here are the Southeastern Conference’s member institutions, arranged according to their present strength. As the name implies, this (unlike my BlogPoll ballot) is a power poll:

1. Florida: Yes, it was just The Citadel, but when’s the last time the Gators (or anyone else in the S.E.C., for that matter) hung 70 on someone? The Orange and Blue machine is set on "crush."

2. Alabama: How can the Crimson Tide be the last remaining undefeated team in the major conferences yet not stand atop the S.E.C. Power Poll? Simple; while the Florida team that waxed Georgia in Jacksonville was just getting warmed up, the ‘Bama squad that throttled the ‘Dawgs in Athens hasn’t been seen in weeks.

3. Georgia: Will 2008 go down in history as a disappointment on a level with 2004 or as a letdown on a par with 2000? That question will be answered this weekend, when a record-setting eighth straight win over the Yellow Jackets would lock up a sixth ten-win season in a seven-year span but a loss would mean that the Red and Black squad that entered the Georgia Southern game as the No. 1 team in the nation exited the Georgia Tech game as the No. 2 team in the state.

4. Ole Miss: If I were a Rebel fan, I’d really be giving the Arkansas people a hard time over the fact that they treated Houston Nutt as badly as, um, Mississippi treated David Cutcliffe. . . . Uh, nevermind. Anyway, the Rebs appear to have sewn up a Cotton Bowl berth, making them one of the feel good stories of the season.

5. Louisiana State: Anyone who blames the Bayou Bengals’ woes on their quarterback situation is making the same mistake as the Florida fans who blamed Tim Tebow’s sore shoulder for the Gators’ loss to the ‘Dawgs in 2007. Signal-callers don’t play defense. Unfortunately for L.S.U., neither do the Fighting Tigers.

6. South Carolina: A fairly impressive resurgence---or, given the Gamecocks’ history, surgence---by the East Coast U.S.C. was halted in the Palmetto State Poultry’s embarrassing loss to Florida. The coach whose nickname is "Darth Visor" stands a better than 50/50 chance of losing to a coach whose nickname is "Dabo." The former moniker was coined by opposing coaches who could not beat the Evil Genius; the latter moniker was coined by a slightly older brother who was too young to enunciate clearly when saying "that boy." Yeah, losing to Clemson this year would be more shameful than getting thumped by Urban Meyer, wouldn’t it?

7. Vanderbilt: You know, bowl-eligible and bowl-bound aren’t the same thing. Satisfying the minimum standard to qualify for postseason play really isn’t that impressive an accomplishment.

8. Kentucky: I guarantee you that the Wildcat faithful realized it was basketball season a good week before I did. This is not to their credit.

9. Auburn: The Plainsmen epitomize mediocrity with their 5-6 record and their unbroken string of close contests in conference play. The sad part is that the Tigers have at least a puncher’s chance of winning what is sure to be a tight, low-scoring Iron Bowl.

10. Tennessee: Does anyone else remember when a Volunteer win over Vanderbilt didn’t constitute an upset?

11. Mississippi State: The Western Division Bulldogs are so bad, they lost to Tennessee.

12. Arkansas: The Razorbacks are so bad, they lost to Mississippi State.

That is how the league breaks down, at least from my perspective. If you see it differently, feel free to say so in the comments below.

Go ‘Dawgs!