How quickly the worm turns! The last 24 hours have seen Oprah and Michael Sam bantered and batted around by the TST faithful. Now the NFL Owners take their turn at bat!
Behind closed doors, NFL owners bickered and bitched about Oprah stealing their golden boy Michael Sam. I can hear the Owners planning and plotting half way across the country. Jerry Jones wails,
"I'll be Damned to Hell and the WFL, if I watch Michael Sam's saga play out on Oprah's channel! I'm not going to hold hands with my wife, handing out tissues listening to Jenny McCarthy and Barbara Walters wax poetically over Our Golden Goose on The View! It will be a cold day in Dallas before Dr. Phil interferes with our NFL!"
So what do the owners do? They take advantage of the situation, of course. The owners inform Oprah that she will have no access to Ram's facilities whatsoever! The NFL owners tell Jeff Fisher to tell Michael Sam and his agents,
"Forget you ever heard of Oprah! We tell our own stories! The NFL owns Michael Sam! That's the way the cookie crumbles! We are the NFL. We will deny you ever told us about Oprah, the way we denied concussions for years! You play ball by our rules. We put the Hip in hypocritical! Not you! Oh, you'll get your story told, with all the trappings of a Thanksgiving Banquet! We're going to put you on the Gravy Train! Like it or lump it, the Saint Louis Sams ...err Rams will star on 2014 edition of Hard Knocks! Whoohooo! YeeHaw, we will break all the ratings records. Emmy Awards, here we come! Champaign for everyone. Even Oprah! Drink up Oprah. But remember, it's our party! Not yours. Nothing personal Oprah. Just Business. Hell Oprah, we might even cut you in for a slice of Mike pie."
In Related News - Hitler Hates Rams Draft Choices!
Profootball Focus names Robert Quinn 2nd best player in the entire NFL!