Dallas Trades With Rams to Take Johnny Manziel?

At least I think it’s possible. Very possible...

Let's be honest. Jerry Jones is an idiot. His team is basically .500 since Jimmy Johnson/Barry Switzer left. Every year his moves backfire. His face is pock-marked with gunpowder. Golum has a stronger spine than their head coach. His ‘braintrust’ consists of his son. He trades up for Dez Bryant who more resembles Charles Rogers than Jerry Rice. He picks a center as his first pick? Then he decides to take control of the offense installing his own offensive coordinator and whatdoyouknow fails again. The guy is a joke. He’s the worst kind of addict. He’s a crack head with money so he can afford his addictions. No wonder he’s overdosed on himself.


('Don't puck with my snowman!')

Jerry Jones has huge debts. The Cowboys are America’s most-watched team and every year he’s got to put on a show but unfortunately the same ‘act’ is wearing thin. Making it worse his best actor can barely get on stage and the rest of his cast was let go. It’s like Happy Days after Ritchie left and The Fonz is old except they're jumping Texas Stadium the worlds largest shark tank staring Jerry Jones the worlds biggest fish. ( )

'Can they make it?' It’s gripping entertainment. For awhile. Then the crowds start leaving because every show ends the same way for something more exciting like the Patriots because they’ve got Farrah Faucett at QB. How do you counter that? Answer: With Evil Knievel on steroids Cowboy-style: 'He can throw stronger further faster...'

(Johnny Football's biological father?)

Which is EXACTLY what Dallas needs. Jerry doesn’t care about winning. If he did he’d hire an actual coach and someone who can identify real NFL players. All ‘Jazza’ is interested in is making money and keeping his face on TV and Johnny in a Cowboys helmet will guarantee that. Can you picture anything else? Manziel in a Viking uniform? Don’t make me laugh. The strippers aren’t hot enough there.

Romo is lucky he’s still walking. He’s already had 2 back surgeries with probably more to come. He’ll be lucky if he finishes the season let alone his hot wife in retirement. Viagra here I come! And once he goes down for good the crowds will start to leave* so as far as I can tell Manziel is a Cowboy even if he doesn’t know it yet which means the Rams propagate further. The bounty of high picks continues. The Rams Young Dynasty grows even stronger.

Note: I know this is a ludicrous plan. Nothing about it makes sense. Which is why it's perfect for Jerry.....

Usually when trades happen it’s unexpected. Surprise (dumb?) teams do something surprising. GM’s often ‘show no interest’ in a player or say ‘no matter what we will not be taking ‘x’ player' - and then lo and behold he’s their first player chosen. It happens every year.

Here's the 'official' denial:

Conditions for a possible trade up (to give away future first rounders):

A): The Team is desperate.

B): Their Fan base is angry / impatient.

C): They have a history of making big trades.

D): They feign lack of interest pre-draft in said player.

E): The have huge debts and need a big splash.

F): Their owner is extremely incompetent.

Who ticks all the boxes? THE DALLAS COWBOYS.

I believe The Perfect Storm is brewing. In a ‘surprise move’ the Cowboys trade up and give the Rams their 1st-round picks in 2014, 2015, & 2016 plus their 2nd in 2014 and select Johnny Manziel, QB, Texas A&M.


*puns unintended.

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