Or 'Who will wind up in the toilet in 2014' ....?
Group 'A' - The Obvious:
Jacksonville Jags: I'm so glad Shahid Khan is their owner. Why? Because the Rams could have been stuck with this egomaniac clown. The first sign he's an egomaniac? The Monopoly Man Moustache. 2nd sign? He put his freaking son in charge (see Jerry Jones) which always points to 'Idiot Alert'. If you need further evidence just look at the Jags new uniforms... Need I say more?
Cleveland Browns: There's too much to write here. Gas pump jockeys who steal even though they're billionaires? Really, come on - isn't enough enough? I can't wait for Jimmy Haslam's seas to get parted in jail. Finally he'll know what his 'fans' feel like when they fork over $15 bucks for a small popcorn. Scum like this shouldn't even be allowed to watch football, let alone control such a historic franchise.
Washington Redskins: I often wonder if the first three owners in this category graduated the same year from Clown College. All I see is Bozo, Crusty, and Ronald McDonald. In some of the mock drafts I do on 'First-pick' sometimes Washington offers the Rams their next 2 first round draft picks (2015 & 2016) to move up. If Daniel Snyder did this in real life it wouldn't shock me. And that's sad.
Oakland Raiders: Who's running the team now? That's right, the son of the owner (red lights go off again). The son of a legend. The son who's not a legend. The son who's got a rookie coach and a rookie GM even though he knows nothing. When I look at Mark Davis, he reminds me of someone dressing up as Jon Gruden for Halloween. Except he's not Jon Gruden. And it's not Halloween.
Group 'B' - Try-Hards:
Dallas Cowboys: I love Jerry Jones. His persistence in trying to play a real NFL GM will soon be rewarded with the #1 overall pick, possibly as soon as next year. Ware might be on the way out. Romo already is, even if he doesn't know it. Soon Jerry's son will take over and drive the franchise further into the ground. Tex Schram and Tom Landry's laughs can't be heard. Jimmy Johnson's can. I can see Jerry trading Ware, Romo, and his first round pick to Houston so he can take Manziel. In fact I can see him doing almost anything because I'm pretty sure he's high.
Miami Dolphins: Why do so many owners not have a clue? You draft a QB high because your offensive coordinator coached him in college, then you fire the offensive coordinator? Your head coach is so far up in the tower he can't tell some of his players are extorting people and/or contemplating suicide? Then there's the Wildcat. Does anyone remember the Pet Rock? Hmm I didn't think so....
Group 'C' - Surprise Guests:
Baltimore Ravens: Look I know a lot of people will disagree but that's okay. From my perspective every year teams that 'everyone' thought would do well, bomb, and this is another one (IMO) on the way down. After the SB win most of their key players left / retired / or were released such as: G Bobbie Williams, S Bernard Pollard, LB Brendon Ayanbadejo, LB Ray Lewis, C Matt Birk, LB Paul Kruger, LB Dannell Ellerbe, CB Cary Williams, S Ed Reed etc. Also teams that have been 'up' for a long time eventually come to earth. What's been up must come down. Which brings me to:
New England Patriots: It's easy for me to put them on this list. Why? Because I've hated them since we lost to them in the SB, which grew further after the cheating accusations which naturally I believe. Because. We. Lost. Either way their coach is a curmudgeon, their QB is a failed pinup, their best player is in jail, and their offensive coordinator a Napoleonic hit-and-run slut. Gillette Stadium is like Noah's Ark for the despised which perfectly fits the cold and depressing nature of their city. And the cold and depressing nature of their HC. It won't be long before Cassius falls on the sword.
Group 'D' - Dishonarable Mentions:
Question: Will the Football Gods help the Rams again? Can lightining strike twice? Will Dallas nuke itself or will a team like Miami get hot? If the Rams goal is to pick up an extra 1st rounder next year, which team would be best for the Rams to trade with?
(What Roger Goddell should do...)