Jerry Ricecake is Who We Need



Jerry Ricecake WR Goat University


Rumor has it, Jerry Ricecake developed his pass-catching skills while plying the family trade: hauling in full-grown, flying salmon at the Ricecake Fish Market (dubbed by some as the original Pike Place). The hours were long, and the catches resulted in a face-full of scales. But everyone who saw young Ricecake in action new his hands were a gift from the gods of the gridiron.

"I actually saw Ricecake at his family's Fish Market when he was about 12 years old," says a reflective Rich Eisen. "Mike Mayock kept telling me about this crazy kid who would go crashing through crab baskets to catch sturgeon. Even back kid could catch a cold inside of a plastic bubble."

To say Jerry Ricecake has "plus hands" is not just an understatement; it is akin to acknowledging you lack the vocabulary needed to describe poetry made flesh. Ricecake is like a land-dwelling Scorpionfish: his legs outpace defenders, seducing QBs into throwing footballs in his general vicinity. And once the football falls within range, Ricecake uses his oven mitts to vacuum in pass reception after pass reception, leaving offensive coordinators in a state of eternal bliss. And defenders in a state of shock.



Bear traps for hands. Speed that would make a cheetah say, "Hey, Mr. Ricecake, can you track down that antelope for me?" And quite possibly the most adaptive, intelligent mind in the game. On any level. But Ricecake's greatest gift is his desire to be the greatest pass catcher ever.

He knows he can be special. He wants to be the G.O.A.T.


Noodle-armed QBs.


Jerry Rice


The man can do it all on gameday. It's not a question of "if" he can succeed. No, the question is, "How long will it take Jerry Ricecake take to dethrone Jerry Rice as the greatest wide receiver of all-time."

As has written Jerry Ricecake is a can't miss prospect. I believe we should trade up and take Ricecake.

Here are some of his combine numbers.

4.37 40 Yard Dash

46 Inch Vertical Leap

142 Inch Broad Jump

6.39 3 Cone Drill

4.0 20 Yard Suttle

10.75 60 Yard TD Shuttle

He is 6' 2'' and has 9 and a 1/2 inch hands, so is he a ca't miss prospect or what.

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