It's true! At the Quantum level, weird things can happen like the Rams winning the Super Bowl in February!
The only way other we will the Super Bowl this year is in an alternative universe.
Perhaps your alternative twin is getting ready this very moment, for a Rams tail gate party at Edward Jones Dome.
But that doesn't do anything for you in this universe. So I say we create a ginormous quantum flux.
Anyone have a particle accelerated laying around? No? Then we'll resort to witchcraft. I would pray to God for a Ram's Super Bowl victory, but God is too slow to answer my prayers. Still waiting for a red ZO6 corvette and Jesus to come a second time. The devil is fast, but there's always a catch, the bloody signature, and the wailing and gnashing of teeth. Instead, let's perform a white magic physics spell.
Recite the italicized spell section below. It only works if you chant it out loud and fast-
" What the matter? E equals M C squared? Well that's relative.
In a collapsing universe, as the frequency of suck approaches infinity
The speed of light decreases inversely approaching zero. E equals M Zero!
Then what is perfect? A vacuum is perfect, and a vacuum is nothing,
Nothing is perfect and nothing is B-O-R-ING! Though the frequency of flux in a vacuum sucks
if the suck were for a moment to focus and flux, shot like a spark from a quark,
the smallest matter in the Entire Universe!
Did it work? Are the Rams hosting the 49'ers today at Edward Jones Dome? No! Goddam it!
Who am I going to root for to win the Super Bowl? Who are you rooting for? You can tell me.
It can be our little secret. Admit it! You do it. We're all Rams fans, but deep down we're all
To tell you the truth, I'm not sure yet. Do I want San Diego? I like their uniforms, and they
are the underdogs. Those lighting bolts remind me of the Rams horns.
I know! I will root for the poll winner. I would never put the Rams up for sale, but I can auction off 49'ers and
Seahawks, on account they are cheap Pirate Sluts and Whores. And don't even get me started about the Patriots. I shudder to think.
Should I cheer for Peyton Manning and the Denver Broncos? Peyton was my fantasy quarterback, yet even with Peyton Manning and Adrian Peterson on my fantasy team, I came in third. I love Colorado. I want to have fun, and ski and snowboard!
What about the 49'ers. 49'ers are kind of like a brother you constantly fight. You beat the shit out of him. He cold cocks you, and sometimes Dad plays ref, and it ends in a tie. But in a way they are family. NFC west family.
The Seahawks are the favorites. They are least likely to break heart my heart, if I submit and cheer
for them. But Richard Sherman's ego is colossal, and I so hate him. Would I like Sherman
if I cheered for the Seahawks to win. Does it work that way If Sherman were a Ram would you
laugh and high five your friends when Sherman intercepted a pass and did the crazy sign with his finger the way he does? The Seahawks are like that little sister who tells on you, and then laughs, back sassing you,
singing, "Nanny Nanny Boo Boo." Still the Seahawks are family. NFC west family
Patriots- I'm thinking only Rams fans whom are Boston natives would choose to root for the Patriots.
Or if you hated the Seahawks more than the Pats. Please don't make me choose the Patriots.
Hey, I almost forgot the Panthers. I don't have any strong feelings about the Panthers. How about you?
I think the 49'er -Panther game will be fun to watch from a neutral football fan's prospective. Good defense and similar quarterbacks.
Tell me which team your rooting for to win the Super Bowl. And if they win the poll, I'll root with you.
PS If they lose, I will root with the next highest vote getter! Go Rams