Turf Show Times: Ramdude's RAMorse (sniff) 9/25/13

Where do I begin? Like others before me, I come here to unburden a heavy, heavy soul - heavy as Knoxfan's GF carrying Rok Watkins on her back in the rain (I don't know why).

I didn't see the game. I went with the Fam to Texas Roadhouse to celebrate the day after my birthday. I figured Shirley they'll have the Dallas game on there, since FOX had the Giants debacle on at home. What did I get for my trouble (besides a couple bigole beers, ass-loaded baked tater, and a purty dang good steak)? I got to sorta see bits of the Giants debacle from way over in the corner, and I got to sit on a saddle on like a high chair deal in my daggone Bradford away jersey whilst people made fun of the B-day boy. My daughter who wasn't there (who's a Dallas fan) kindly pumped me the score by text every now and then. She's so sweet.

Although I didn't see it, you guys have described the massacre very well. I can imagine the rest because we've been there many, many times before - just rarely with so much positive stuff to give us hope.


I don't get it - AT ALL. We finally have a front office that seems to operate like a well-oiled machine. Fisher, Snead, Demoff - no 3 guys seem more on the same page when it comes to gathering up talent and fightin the cap monster than them. (Now some of the shellac is even wearin off of that if these expensive "stars" don't start pullin their weight.) But that's the icky administrative stuff only accountants from Canada can understand. ;-) You'd think Fisher would be even better at picking the guys who are gonna strap it on with him on the sidelines each week during the season. We have some excellent assistant coaches - why not the coordinators?

There was the Williams boyz. First, the dad who got temporarily banished from football for bounty huntin. Then the son who musta got dropped or something. He was the linebackers coach before he got run off, but maybe he was actually gonna be heir apparent to the DC throne some day. For a while there we had, or almost had, Rob Ryan (just threw up in my mouth a little). And after a season of no DC, we get, wait for it - Tim Walton - that defensive juggernaut out of Detroit who's never been a DC before.

Now on offense, I never really wanted Brian Schottenheimer. I hoped for the best, but didn't expect much. However, with all the new toys to trip over this season, I figured how vanilla can he be? Wow! Vanilla only dogs can taste! Wake up dude - you have OPTIONS now! Don't finish the transBulgeration of Sammy that your predecessors started for golly-gosh sake!

As far as Special Teams, I haven't seen enough games to have a real problem with Fassel. We have good kickers, and I think the problems there should work themselves out.

If Jeff Fisher just wanted figure heads so he could really run both sides of the ball, that's even worse. Because then everything's on him. So I'll just have to SMH and wait for the magic to happen I guess. I don't want to disrupt the team with another new HC. I believe in what Fisher is doing player personnel-wise for the most part. Even training camp seems to be orderly and disciplined. Game prep just seems to be poor to non-existent and worse than last year. WHY????

How bad was the Ram's performance in the Dallas Game?

I started thinking about the above after a crappy day at work. Here's a list. Maybe you have some more ideas.

The St Louis Rams performance in the Dallas Game was worse than the following:

  1. A truck load of dead babies
  2. Learning that your wife and girlfriend are both pregnant
  3. A loud shart in church - during silent prayer time
  4. Having part of your scrotum inside your zipper and part outside with your pants zipped up (been there)
  5. Waking up driving off the other side of the road towards a small ravine (been there)
  6. Learning your mother-in-law is on the way over with "all her stuff"
  7. Rolling around in an over-stuffed cat box
  8. A million butt-fumbles laid end-to-end
  9. Being in Hell with a TV that only gets two channels: Hallmark and Lifetime
  10. A kiss on the lips from Jerry Jones - it's just got to be powdery

OK, enough of that sentimental journey.

Next up: 1-2 San Francisco

What's this? The preseason's presumed Super Bowl-bound 9ers with the same record as us???? And they've scored 44 points and allowed 84 while we've scored 58 and allowed 86. So we're kind of - equivalent. Well I'm not gonna gloat. I don't want their young and emoticon coach all mad at me and stuff.


Does feel nice to have a shot though. So let's just put all that Dallas business out of our collective minds. And don't let the fact that both NO and Miami creamed Atlanta who creamed us shake your confidence either.

We've got a job to do, and we got to get it done!

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