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Turf Show Times: Ramdude's RAMblins 7/20/13

10 11 Ang-gree Rams


This off season has already been examined from more angles than possible by fly-eye. However, thanks to my own particular brand of procrastination, I came up with a slightly different type of Ramnalysis - the Angry Ram, a guy with a chip on his shoulder that I'm looking forward to seeing play this season.

Sweet Betamax flicks will soon be mine!
I'm not exactly what's known as an "early adopter." In fact, I'm still waiting for Sony to come out with its final Betamax answer to VHS before I go ahead and pick up one of them VCR boxes. Can't wait to head to the Beta rental store and score a copy of Top Gun! The dang LaserDisc is on the fritz again, and I can't find a belt for it this time. |:-/

In this same vein, I'm also a recent convert to Angry Birds. Sure, I've heard about it for years, but I pulled back on my first birdie sling shot just last month. If it was anybody else, I'd say they were obsessed. But I'm just helpin a bird fella out, ya know, and those pigs are everywhere. (Scuse me whilst I go squish a coupla porkers real quick-like.) So, anyhow, Angry Birds became Angry Rams for this episode of RAMblins.

Right back at ya, Brian
Now, I have learnt from the infamous NFL Network that all important things during off season come in 10s (or 100s). And during countdowns you should always melt birthday candles in the shapes of numbers. Additionally, those 10 or 100 things should nevah, evah include the Rams if at all possible.

However, I also learned from This is Spinal Tap that 11 is one louder than 10. Repeat it with me: "11 is one louder than 10."

Behold, and smell the nah-lige:

I need the extra push over the cliff, so I'm going with 10 11 Angry Rams.

Time Out: PSA for the Seattle Fans

Now I know you Seahawk guys are a little sensitive because it's always raining in your Seattle's Best (which is not much better than McDonald's Worst IMHO), but you gotta chill a little. You've been swarming us lately and whimpering about anything you didn't like. (Did your site get flooded or something?) This is a homer site for Rams homers. If we want to be magnanimous, we'll be magnanimous. But if we want to be stupid ol' supportive Rams fans, we'll do that too, goshdarnit - "Our coach can beat the snot stuffins outta your coach" and such saucy talk.

Of all people here, I have plenty of reasons to hate Russell Wilson. After holding us hostage while deciding whether to play baseball or football for the second or third time, he ultimately ditched my school to go play for Wisconsin his last college year. But I'm happy he beat the odds, being a little feller, to be successful in the NFL. He's a quality guy and should have a long and great career. By the same token, I have no problem whatsoever if he becomes the meat in a Long-Quinn-Dunbar triple-decker samich about 10 yards behind the line of scrimmage a couple 20 times when we play each other.

So lighten up a little. As a troll guest, if you like everything you read here, we're doin somethin way wrong. But you'll find us to be very reasonable folk for the most part. Ryan and crew run a tight ship - no spittin and not much cussin allowed. Our teams have both had some miserable, miserable years; and that humility never really departs because failure is much easier to achieve than success in the NFL. Peace Out Gulls.

Back to the Angry List

These are eleven twelve thirteen guys I want to see do well this season. I'm not going to necessarily use the MoBY term (although it applies to some), but I think they are due to perform now that the rest of the team is starting to come together around them. After the first two, the rest are in no particular order - cause it don't really matter that much.

#1 Mr. One Trick Pony Hisself - Chris Long. He's worked hard to shed that label, and I think he now has the support in the front 7 to do his thang. He should be free to wreak the havoc he loves to wreak. Wreak away, baby!

#2 Sam Bradford. Two things have held him back (besides the pathetic coaching he's had til last year) - the guys in front and lined up wide plus having to play with an icon who had to carry the team on his back for many years. How does a scrawny kid fresh out of college in a pastel fuzzy sweater compete with that? Well now his supporting cast has been upgraded, and he no longer has to worry about stepping on anybody's toes. I think Sam's natural leadership qualities will come to the forefront just at the right time, and he can finally use the skills that made him the #1 draft pick 3 years ago. But he has to exert his will on the team like one of them Mad Birds!

#3 Robert Quinn - Bad Medicine Man. People were excited when he got drafted, but then Spags barely let him play. Good move or bad move - I don't know. But it was frustrating. I think he's got that chip squarely planted on his shoulder. With a strong push in the middle, havoc on one side and his mayhem on the other, QBs won't know whether to sh!t or go blind (I hope). So this is the year to clear out any bad mojo.

#4 Darian Stewart. That guy seemed to be all over the place 2 years ago. Living in the northeast, I don't get to see many games. But I was impressed with his intensity from what I did see - especially on blitzes. He was a small bright spot in a notoriously bad secondary. So his lack of playing time last year came as kind of a shock - injury or just couldn't rise to the challenge? I guess this really is a make or break year for him now that we've slowly upgraded the folks around him, and he can't seem to shake injuries like a guy his age should. I hope he makes it.

#5 Tavon Austin. While this guy shouldn't have a chip on his shoulder due to his mad skillz, I think he probably does because his critics say he's too small and fragile for the NFL (No Freaking Leprechauns!). He's been hearing that his whole life. Now is his chance to bawl and prove em all wrong. If he succeeds, it's gonna be amazing to watch.

#6 Stedman Bailey. He managed to thrive in the mighty-mite shadow of Austin in college. Now he has to do it again in the pros with even more competition to worry about. Austin may get more touches because of an occasional rush and/or kick/punt return duties, so Bailey will probably have to earn his keep as a WR against a crowd of other guys with more size and pro experience. As another little guy, he's got to play angry - but smart. I think he will.

#7 Terrance Ganaway. Hey, the guy is a Sandwich Artist. With the vacancy caused by SJ39's absence, I just want him to get an honest shot this year. He's got the size we need at RB and should have his health (as long as he hasn't been downin the profits). If the team determines he needs to keep holdin the mayo, so be it. But it would be fun to see him come in during the 4th quarter and angrily grind up the D's that have been chasing our WRs all over the field for 3 quarters.

#8 James Laurinaitis. On paper, this is the guy you want as your Mike - smart, driven, a leader, has a father who wears spikes, etc. Maybe not as physically gifted as some, but no slouch by any means. His performance was a little disappointing last year, but I think part of that was helping to fill in for an inexperienced secondary. He needs to come in mad and focus on his part of the world, and I think he'll be fine. Maybe Witherspoon can provide some guidance.

#9 Greg Zuerlein & Johnny Hekker. You know you can't waste two picks on kickers. :-) I really like both these guys and hope they're around a long time. While they are each gifted in their craft, they both went a little erratic last year - their first year in the NFL - but also showed what they are capable of. I think they know how to make the needed course corrections with the help of the coaching staff. Just channel that personal disappointment into better focus, and we should be fine in the kicking department.

#10 Isaiah Pead & Daryl Richardson. Pead obviously has a LOT to prove this year (plus has to sit the first game), and Richardson is probably disappointed in his tail off last season. I grouped these guys together because they may have the same problem - not enough total touches to establish themselves as the SJ39 heir-apparent. They will be fighting for time and touches with other bigger backs and with the revamped receiving crew. So it is possible for either of them to rise to the top or drop to the bottom. I see only one planting the flag, and right now it's even money on who does it (if anybody). Should be very interesting to watch.

#11 Janoris Jenkins. He had a great first season. However, there were some "yeah buts" regarding his rookie mistakes. I'm sure he will want to erase those bad memories this year, and now he has the experience to do it. He should be the Jacked-up Jack Rabbit this season. I hope he puts on a great show.

Well, that's it. You got any Angry Rams you're gonna tune into this coming season??? For example, I left off Jo-Lonn "QB Go Boom" Dunbar. I think he has a chip in his head that is always on and set to seek-n-destroy. No need to get angrier there.

Some Gifs for You

The smart ones scrolled right on down here, but if you actually read this, I got some presents for ya.

Have a great weekend, and remember CAMP STARTS THIS WEEK! - like you could forget. Football is so close, you can grab holt of it and stuff it up yer nose. (It yer not allergic.)


A certain world-renowned author we know - at home on Sat Nite
Note BOSS stereo in background


Don't know whether to be disturbed or delighted


Yep, that's off season for ya


"Oh, No She..." you know the rest. 
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