I couldn't sleep last night.
By about 3am, I was sideways across my mattress, shorts on my head, a t-shirt on my legs. I was sober. I was exhausted. My soul was on the mend.
It was June 9th and Tim Tebow had yet to find a suitor in the NFL, and I was mere months away from Tebowless football. A Tebowless life.
I grabbed one of my several dozen knapsacks and set out for Catoctin Mountain. I had a message for the world.
As I reached the summit I ripped off my shirt. Well, that's not entirely true. My hands ripped it, but it was Tim's strength doing the work. I had never bellowed before, but at that moment my body was not mine. I was a vessel.
From the pit of my stomach, I felt it rise. A power so total, so natural I knew what was coming. The rocks began to split beneath my feet as the animals' sixth sense sent them sprinting beyond the horizon.
Suddenly, it exploded out of me as vomited the truth we all knew...
It was done...
Ah ok. Done with that.
So yes, Tim Tebow has signed with the New England Patriots, assuming some kind of 3rd string QB, backup TE, jack of all trades, locker room morale engineer role.
ESPN is flashing the Tebow-signal into the sky above Bristol, and the NFL Network is following suit making sure to trawl in the wake of the pursuit of lowest common denominator analysis.
But here's your thought for the evening, Rams fans.
The Rams' final two home games of the season in weeks 15 and 16 are against the New Orleans Saints and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers respectively, both teams who play the Patriots early in the season. I don't know how much of the field Tim Tebow will see in 2013 for the Patriots, but it would be an odd fate for him to affect a potential Rams playoff run this season.
The Patriots could certainly pick up wins against the Buccaneers and Saints, both of whom travel to Foxboro. And should Atlanta slip from their preseason frontrunner status, the NFC South could well be up for grabs for either of those teams late in the season making their visits to St. Louis vital games.
Which means there's a chance, small though it may be, that heading into the Christmas season, looking back at how Tim Tebow indirectly played a small factor in the Rams' 2013 season.
But that's for another day.
Tonight, find a mountain and call to him.
I did, and I feel better already.