What's up with the Rams and Jake Long?

Steve Mitchell-US PRESSWIRE

WE'RE STILL WAITING!

The St. Louis Rams are still waiting on a deal with Jake Long. The Dolphins offensive tackle is still reportedly in St. Louis, negotiating with the Rams. Friday will be day three of his visit. Once something does finally happen with Long, it figures to have a ripple effect through the rest of the league.

Let's answer some of your most pressing questions so you can get back to watching weeknight CBS shows in your slippers.

WHAT THE HELL IS TAKING SO LONG?

Negotiating is no simple procedure. Legend has it Stan Kroenke once had Kevin Demoff talking to a waitress at a St. Charles Bennigans for two hours to remove an ice tea from the owner's ticket because they forgot a lemon. Guess who didn't have to pay for his iced tea?

The Rams aren't the only team interested in Jake Long. Sure, he's in St. Louis, but that doesn't preclude his agent from taking calls from other interested teams. He'll want to get the best deal possible, wether that means money or years or bonuses, etc.

WHAT ARE THEY HAGGLING ABOUT?

Long checked out medically, which is a good thing, but he's not the kind of player whose history would seem to allow for a monumental contract loaded up on guaranteed money.

There have been reports that the two sides were working out the particulars of the deal, guaranteed money, bonuses and things like that. Then again, they could be haggling over the overall amount or even how much time he's contractually obligated to conduct interviews with Tony Softli. We don't really know what they're negotiating over because we're not in the room.

He also has some leverage, because the Rams really need a tackle if that commitment to Sam Bradford is going to ever pay dividends. It's got to be hard for them to let him leave the building, especially since he checked out medically, but they can't afford to give him the key to the city either.

ARE THERE OTHER TEAMS TRYING TO SIGN HIM?

Why yes there are. On Friday morning Adam Schefter confirmed that the Dolphins were still hopeful about re-signing their left tackle. It makes negotiations with the Rams that much more complicated.

Bidding wars aren't exactly helpful for speeding the process along.

WHAT HAPPENS IF HE SAYS NO?

Rejection is a harsh thing to have to deal with, for everyone. Fortunately, the best way to handle it is to fill that hole in your heart with more toasted ravioli and a converting the letters on the shirt-sey you bought prematurely.

As for the Rams, they'll move on. They can still look for an offensive tackle in the draft, which they could be doing anyway since signing Long means Rodger Saffold is likely to leave after the season. Or they can pursue one of the remaining free agent tackles. Sebastian Vollmer is still available. Andre Smith and Eric Winston, who the Rams chased last year, are out there still as well. Those three are right tackles, though Vollmer could work on the left side.

WILL WE KNOW SOMETHING TODAY?

No. At the moment the news breaks, Twitter will be completely taken over by Incarcerated Bob, PFCentral and an army of porno spam bots. At that point, you will be whisked away to an undisclosed location, tortured by Kathryn Bigelow and Dick Cheney by being forced to watch Pete Carroll talk about Seattle's free agent moves on an endless loop.

Sorry.

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