Les Snead, Artisan Turd Polisher

First things first; YOUR MOCK DRAFT SUCKS!!!

Accept it.

But worry not,

for Les Snead isn't just Calvin Klein's top underwear model,

he's also the King Midas of the NFL Draft.

(for those of you who don't know your Greek mythology, King Midas is known for his spectacular hair. Also everything he touches turns to gold or something)

Anyway, as the draft continues to approach, the mocks are just going to get more and more frequent and by April 25 you'll be ready to burst, as after months of packing, you will finally be 100% full of shit.

But this article isn't about you. It's about Rams General Manager and Jedi Knight— Leslie Snead.

Really it's just a brief analysis of what "The Do" did in his last two years in Atlanta, and what he might be able to do in these next two years.

With thirteen draft selections through 2010 and 2011, NFL Golden-boy and snowboard model Les Snead acquired twelve players who are still with the Falcons. Four of those players became starters. Another four became backups. And this team was the #1 seed in the NFC. The value of those thirteen picks based on the NFL Draft Value Chart adds up to 3,120 points, or 240 points per pick.

Les continued his hot streak here in St Louis last year, acquiring a very strong class with ten picks valued at 3,034 points, or 303 points per pick. 980 points went to Brian Quick and Isaiah Pead, who did not even contribute to the class' on-the-field success.

The darling Prince of Alabama has a ton of power in the two upcoming drafts. Accounting for our four first round picks (I've given us #21 and #22 next year), we have 4,737 points over 16 picks, which comes out to 296 points per selection. That's comparable to last year, when we started with the #2 pick! And it covers two drafts! If the 2014 Rams traveled back in time to this moment, you wouldn't recognize half the starters.

I suppose the takeaway here is that we're not just in good hands, we're in the best hands; and we're in the best position to make use of those hands. And those hands, while rugged and masculine, are capable of great tenderness, and smell of a cool springtime breeze.

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