Round 1 Humpday Alterna-Mock

I'm a bit tired of seeing the same ole' pre-combine mocks. So I tried to throw some variations in there just for the sake of wasting time at work. I'm not a draft expert like 3k or some of yous guys, but this was a fun time-suck. Regardless, it's Wednesday, I'm bored, so here we go. I should really learn how to play Dungeons & Dragons or something...

1. Kansas City- Luke Joeckel, OT

I think the Chiefs are one of the "best" teams to have the first pick in quite some time. They take a franchise tackle and arguable the best player available. Enough of this Geno talk... KC is a possible landing spot for Alex "Dreamy Eyes" Smith.

2. Jacksonville-Damontre Moore, DE

Jacksonville continues their gradual slide into the ocean.

3. Oakland- Bjoern Wenner, DE

4. Philadelphia- Eric Fisher, OT

5. Detroit- Dee Miliner, CB

6. Cleveland- Jarvis Jones, OLB

7. Arizona- Chance Warmack, OG

Highest guard ever taken? Probably. Do the birds need him? Absolutely. Do I care? Not really.

8. Buffalo- Alec Ogletree, ILB

9. NYJ- Kenny Vaccaro, S

Jets need a little bit of everything. This is a good foot to start off on.

10. Tennessee- Keenan Allen, WR

Kenny Britt is probably running from the cops as I type this.

11. San Diego- Lane Johnson, OT

12. Miami- Corradelle Patterson, WR

13. Tampa Bay- Star Lotuleilei, DT

14. Carolina- Ezekiel Ansah, DE

15. New Orleans- Barkevious Mingo, OLB/DE

16. St. Louis- Sheldon Richardson, DT

Tons of value here. Pairs well with Brockers. Best D Line in the league. Mark it zero, dude.

17. Pittsburgh- Tavon Austin, WR

18. Dallas- Geno Smith, QB

Jerry as been kicking himself for a year for not trading up for RGIII. Now Kyle Orton isn't the only one looking over Romo's shoulder.

19. NYG- Jonathan Hankins, DT

20. Chicago- Barret Jones,G/C

Can immediately help keep Jay Cutler from having to hide behind the umpire on third down.

21. Cincinnati- Jonathan Banks, CB

22. St. Louis- Jonathan Cooper, G

Just like the electrician in the classic "Frogger" episode of Seinfeld, if you want to run, you need holes!

23. Minnesota- Kawann Short- DT

24. Indianapolis- Larry Warford, G

Protect ya neck, Indy.

25. Seattle- Alex Okafor, DE

This pick bums me out.

26. Green Bay- Shariff Floyd, DT/DE

27. Houston- Matt Elam, S

28. Denver- Eddie Lacey, RB

Sorry, Knowshon.

29. New England- DJ Fluker, OT

30. Atlanta- Tyler Eifert, TE

The nice catholic boy who will replace a legend (Gonzo, not the Pope).

31. San Francisco- Desmond Trufaunt, CB

32. Baltimore- Kevin Minter, LB

Minter is good value pick for B'more. And his girlfriend is real. Bonus points.

I've probably screwed this thing up, or forgotten someone totally obvious. You sonsabitches should feel free to leave some hate in the comments. Goooooooooooooo Rams.

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