NFL Picks Week 2: Van's Can't Miss Predictions

August 29, 2012; Landover, MD, USA; A Washington Redskins cheerleader dances on the field during a timeout against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers at FedEx Field. The Redskins won 30-3. Mandatory Credit: Geoff Burke-US PRESSWIRE

Wooooo! Howdy partners! It's time for me to dispense my pickin' knowledge which you should in no way take to heart and use to gamble your hard-earned money on football. If you use my advice, your children will probably starve, you spouse leave you and all you'll have is this here web site, which is really fine with us so long as you keep reading and don't annoy me with your personal problems.

So, how about some picks!

SB Nation's picks for the week from NFL editor Joel Thorman are right here. If you're trying to decide which games to watch this week, here's my advice for you.

Bears Vs. Packers

Do you really think the Packers are going to go 0-2? It could happen. In fact, I say it does, and the Bears get really scary before the Rams play them.

Jets Vs. Steelers

Oh man do I want the Steelers to win just to see the Rex Ryan meltdown. And they will.

Ravens Vs. Eagles

Is there any doubt that Baltimore will win?

Saints Vs. Panthers

Spagnuolo's defense lacks talent and was totally fooled by RGIII last week ... it was very typically Spagnuolo, who hasn't had success when someone other than Jerry Reese picks his players. Panthers win.

Browns Vs. Bengals

Brandon Weeden is not very good, and the Browns are destined to lose as long as Pat Shurmur and Mike Holmgren are running the team, which they won't be after this year. Bengals win.

Chiefs Vs. Bills

I think the Bills defense will get its act together this week.

Vikings Vs. Colts

This is the week that Andrew Luck looks like RGIII did last week. Colts win.

Redskins Vs. Rams

Back to reality for RGIII? It's very likely with the Rams defense playing sharp on the edges. If the pass rushers get going this week, the Rams can win.

Buccaneers Vs. Giants

Who knows with the Giants. They seem to be the most hangover prone Super Bowl winner, but I think they'll beat the Bucs.

Texans Vs. Jaguars

Uh, Texans.

Cardinals Vs. Patriots

I never thought the Cardinals would win last week, but I was wrong. This week I'm not worried about it. Patriots win.

Cowboys Vs. Seahawks

Did you know that Seattle's 12th man is one of the most overrated myths in football? They've .500 at home the last two season, and they're not going to beat the Cowboys this week.

Titans Vs. Chargers

Chargers will win. No one will care.

Lions Vs. 49ers

I just want to see Harbaugh explode. But the 49ers will win this one with that defense.

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via assets.sbnation.com

Broncos Vs. Falcons

A real test without Brent Grimes, and I don't know if the Falcons are good enough to hang without their best corner. I still think they'll win this game, but it's a tough call.

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