Turf Show Times: Ramdude's RAMblins 8/25


Cowboys trying to "herd" the Rams' Offense -
like herdin cats I tell ya

Sure, the Cowboys game tonight is still preseason, and it ain't like they're the freakin 9ers or something. But they're still today's enemy, and it looks like "the Fisherman" wants to develop a little swagger in his young bucks. Sooooo, let's take it to 'em!

Here's some information about what the Cowboys (and NFC East) did with personnel in the offseason from The Miami Herald.

Offseason additions: QB Kyle Orton, FB Lawrence Vickers, OT Pat McQuistan, G Nate Livings, G Mackenzy Bernadeau, ILB Dan Connor, CB Brandon Carr, S Brodney Pool.

Key draft picks: CB Morris Claiborne (yer welcome), DE/DT Tyrone Crawford, LB Kyle Wilber, S Matt Johnson, WR/P Danny Coale.

Offseason losses: FB Tony Fiammetta, WR Laurent Robinson (aw shucks), TE Martellus Bennett, G Montrae Holland, G Kyle Kosier, G Derrick Dockery, ILB Bradie James, CB Terence Newman (Good Bye, NEWMAN!; Good Bye, JERRY!), CB Alan Ball, S Abram Elam, P Mat McBriar.

Outlook: The championship window is closing fast for Tony Romo and Co. The Cowboys invested heavily on defense with four draft picks, but the injuries (Jason Witten) and offseason drama (Dez Bryant) could throw off the timing of the receiving corps. A healthy DeMarco Murray at running back would help.

The above doesn't mention injuries to Bryant and Miles Austin. But they are discussed in this "fair and balanced," but non-committal, game preview from The Sports Network.

We started off as 6.5-point underdogs, and now it's down to 5. But with the Boys' best receivers out, I'll take the Rams and the points >>> fa sho!

What about you???? (I'd add a poll, but I can't find it in the editor today.)

For more news you can use and probably a lot that ya can't, click on thru.

Is That Burning Butt I Smell?????: The Case of the Scalded Booty

Got one! Excellent!

Now get this. Two years ago, this lady sat on a bench outside of Jerry's House du Football on a day that it was like 100 degrees. She got third-degree burns on her tushy as a result of it and needed skin grafts. Now she's suing. Time to lawyer up - I hear Dallas has BenJarvus Green-Ellis on retainer. She has Dewey, Cheetam & Howe. So the Boys got bigger problems than just the Rams comin to town.

But I have to think - it gets hotter than Hell's afterburner in Dallas during the summer. Jerry, why do you place a black marble bench out in the Texas sun with no cover on it such that it completely vaporizes anything that comes into contact with it? (And this is supposedly for your fans' comfort?)

Mail Enhancement

Hey fellas, I found this wacky way to increase mail hormones. Just threaten to hit "the boys" (in the mail room) with a big ole hammer, and they'll deliver like nobody's business. Jussayin.

ESPN Mad-gazine - You Must B Crazy!

I had already started writing this before I saw I was not alone in my misery. Astute readers rampage08084, RamBradford08 and others have seen "the preview" as well. However, here's my couple additional pennies.

I just started getting ESPN the Mag. For me: The College Football issue - bust. Fantasy Football issue - one pull out cheatsheet in the middle and the rest - campfire fuel.

So finally, the 2012 NFL Review issue comes out. All excited - like preparing to decode a Little Orphan Annie secret message. (I didn't live thru that; just saw it on A Christmas Story 500 times.) I wanted to see 2 things - how Washington would do with our all important first round pick, and of course, how the Rams would do.

After I waded past all the flotsam and jetsam to get to the first object of my desire, I was not disappointed with my first find - a bunch of ridiculously detailed score predictions for each game of the season and Washington with a 2 - 14 record. Bam! From 5 - 11 last year to 2 - 14 this year and with RG3 to boot. I can live with that. (Sorry, Shanny)

Next stop, the Rams (will we be 1 or 2? OK, 2 or 3?). I kept flipping and flipping pages. Finally, the NFC West (always last and we're almost out of magazine). OK, not #1 - that's the 9ers - big surprise. Keep turning, turning. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Number 4 and AFTER the Cardinals???? Insult to injury - a 0 - 16 record!!!!!!! Now that's just dumb. A slightly easier season, better personnel, much better coaching and front office and we go DOWN two games. (And a quote that "Jackson has lost a step" - yeah, up in your hind end!)

Now that I don't need the evidence any more, I can chuck this thing in the recycling bin with the rest of the garbage.

Well, you heard it here first. Let's pack up the tent. No need to even play. Where's DC's Giants band wagon. I'm gonna thumb a ride - NOT!

Gotta Chill Now - Here's some Funny, Pretty and Pretty Amazing Photos

If you have a wheel on your mouse, that may be an easier way to scroll through this stuff.

Now that Doug is a famous awe-thur, can you guess which one of these is his new "git away crib"?




In conclusion, GO RAMS and let's get it done tonight w/o injuries. And remember to stay off that egg fryin bench.

(BTW, due to the holiday, next weekend will be RAMblins-less. Try to manage the best ya can.)

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