How does it work? Reemco has made it all very simple. You simply unwrap the single mini-football-shaped suppository, stick it up your butt, and just before kickoff time, a secret radio signal will detonate a quarter-size charge of C4 in your wimpering behind. BOOM!
Hey, great news for sky-is-falling Ram fans. Reemco has just announced the new 'End It All' line of suicide kits on sale now for a sampling of teams. Lucky for those of my Ram brothers who insist we're all gonna die a terrible football death, now you can avoid the pain of the season and just get down to ending it all right away.
Guaranteed to tune your attitude lickitty-split.
Thank you Reemco.
(this is sarcasm, my Ram brothers...not meant to offend or anger anybody)