ST. LOUIS, MO - OCTOBER 2: Sam Bradford #8 of the St. Louis Rams fumbles the ball as he is sacked against the Washington Redskins at the Edward Jones Dome on October 2, 2011 in St. Louis, Missouri. (Photo by Dilip Vishwanat/Getty Images)
It's early Monday morning, and you're startled by the horrible, terrible ringing of your alarm clock. It's time to head back to work! Get ready to grind out another work week. Your head throbs, most likely due to consumption of an adult beverage or 12. As you, eyes barely open, scour your body for things that may hurt as bad as your head, you clumsily slap your hands on and around the awful noise machine, and try to quickly recollect the reasoning behind your body's payback.
Somewhere between getting toothpaste in your facial hair and shampoo in your eye, you remember… You watched the game yesterday. The St. Louis Rams vs. the _____________ game. Monday's have been rough recently. Not only do you typically suffer the same early week/morning affliction, but you've got to head into work, where water cooler talk is typically filled with guys whose backsides are still sore from a hard landing on the bandwagon - people who've got distant relatives in a recently elite team's town, and a sarcastic co-worker who clearly knows nothing about football, except that your team is struggling. Well that was 2011...
Been there, done that! And it's been far too long. Outside of 2010, where the Rams were able to sniff the playoffs, it's been numbingly normal for the team to underperform, leaving you near cubicles filling with New England Patriots, New York Giants, and Green Bay Packers paraphernalia. Christmas time, at least at work, has got to be the worst!
But Ram's fans have found hope! Having ousted the previous regime, and bringing in a new coaching staff (and Mr. Snead, of course) that have had previous success - and just as importantly tenure - was the first ingredient in the Ram's soup du success. Throw in a dash of offseason free agent flair, and we're cooking with gas. Finally, we heat things up with a great draft, and you're eating the breakfast of champions on Monday mornings!
So here you find yourself in the summer of 2012. No one at work knows that underneath your calm demeanor, your anticipation of this season's kickoff boils. As the fellas at work gather around the cooler with their shiny new Miami Heat lanyards, optimism for your favorite football team multiplies like a mogwai that's gotten wet, or eaten after midnight.
So plan on going into work this December, having woken up feeling like you've been hit by a bus with a whole new swag, because the days of winning two games in a season hopped on the last train to New Orleans. You used to be the guy asking the question……and now you're the one answering it!
So come in early, plug in your new mouse, and proudly prop yourself against the cooler. It's a brand new Monday morning, my friend! Guys whose wives just bought them Victor Cruz jerseys (and Salsa lessons to match) sense that there's something amiss. Position your flag out front, undo the top button on your polo, and remind the world that you've found the cure for 'The Mondays.' Because from now on, it's just another Mustache Monday! (make sure you sing that like your favorite Bangle)
…Feel free to share your story of 'sneezing' this affliction onto a co-worker of your own! You shy? I'll kick it off. I've got a direct report who sports Green Bay flags on his car during football season, also complimented by some sort of cheese block air freshener. We live in Washington D.C. He can name one player on the team, and I'm guessing you can too…if not for a discount double check, I'm not sure he could name any! Your Ram-mune system has fought hard, and your fandom is 100% healthy. There are many people who deserve the 'Mondays' more than you. Who do you want to give it to?