Non-Football Pondering

Is it wrong for a vegetarian to eat animal crackers?

If people from Poland are called ""poles"" are people from Holland called ""holes?""

Can you cry under water?

Is there an abbreviation for the word abbreviation?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it is called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it is called cargo?

If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?

What is another word for thesaurus?

How do you ship Styrofoam?

When sign makers go on strike, what do their signs say?

Is it okay to shoot tourists during tourist season?

Why does the word 'monosyllabic' have five syllables?

Why do they call a building a building, when it is already built?

If seven-elevens are always open, why do they have locks on their doors?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown, too?

If honesty is the best policy, then is dishonesty the second best policy?

When a cow laughs, does milk come out of its nose?

If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how will anyone ever know?

What is the speed of dark?

If there were no sponges living in the oceans, would the oceans be deeper?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

How can there be an all natural boneless chicken Brest?

If 'con' is the opposite of 'pro', is congress the opposite of progress?

Do radioactive cats have 18 half lives?

Is there another word for synonym?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

How come, at a wedding, the bride doesn't marry the best man?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?

If the Cincinnati Reds were the first major league baseball team, who did they play?

Do burn victims get a discount at crematoriums?

Are part-time band leaders called semi-conductors?

Why is it that night falls, but day breaks?

Can you buy an entire chess set at a pawn shop?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If you ate pasta and antipasti during the same meal, would you still be hungry?

Is the reason Santa so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live?

If someone told you he was a chronic liar, would you believe him?

If a vacuum cleaner really sucks, is that good?

Why is the third hand on your watch called the second hand?

If money doesn’t grow on trees, why do banks have branches?

If ghosts can walk through walls, why don’t they fall through the floor?

If two identical twin brothers married identical twin sisters, would their kids be identical?

How much is a picture of a thousand words worth?

Why are semi-trucks bigger than regular trucks?

Why does Bugs Bunny walk around the cartoon naked, but he puts a bathing suit on when he goes swimming?

Did they have antiques in the olden days?

What happens when you call a 1-800 number collect?

Why aren't greyhounds grey?

Why doesn't the Washington Monument look like George?

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

Why is common sense so uncommon?

Why does the Secret Service hold press conferences?

How do you get out club soda stains?

Do kleptomaniacs help themselves, because they can't help themselves?

Why is the only way to get a clear conscience to have a bad memory?

Can you plan to be spontaneous?

Would you kill for a Nobel Peace Prize?

If you had everything, where would you put it?

If you can't change your mind, are you sure you still have one?

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

Why is it that a bank will lend you money only if you can prove that you do not need it?

Why do they call them apartments if they are so close together?

Why is lemonade made of artificial ingredients, while dish washing detergent contains real lemons?

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

What is the opposite of opposite?

What do you use to clean soap?

What would happen if you mooned a werewolf?

Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

How do you know when it is time to tune your bagpipes?

Why do we wash towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

If you strangle a Smurf what color would it turn?

If olive oil is made from olives what is baby oil made from?

How come we choose from just two people for president and fifty for Miss America?

Why do you park on a drive way and drive on a parkway?

Why is it that a wise man and a wise guy are totally different?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

If fat people go skinny dipping, shouldn't they call it ''chunky dunking''?

Why can't you make another word using all the letters in "anagram?"

Is "tired old cliché" one?

Why is it that the word "phonetic" isn't spelled that way?

How come the word "one" has a "w" sound in it, but the word "two" does not?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries have a use by date?

If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu what would you get?

If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?

Why do you bake cookies and cook bacon?

Why does Mickey Mouse wear pants and no shirt while Donald Duck wears a shirt and no pants?

Why do people sing "Take me out to the ball game" when they are already there?

How do you throw away a garbage can?

If you hate all prejudice people, are you a hypocrite?

Can someone yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse?

Do cemetery workers always have the graveyard shift?

Why is it only drug dealers and software developers call their clients 'users'?

How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?

Why aren’t marbles made of marbles?

Why is chocolate not considered a vegetable, since chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Which way does a compass point in space?

Why is 'Charlie' short for 'Charles' if they are both the same number of letters?

Did Noah have woodpeckers and termites on the ark?

Why isn't evaporated milk a gas?

Why is the man who invests all your money, called a broker?

Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why do Pharmacies make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front checkout counter?

Is Atheism a non-profit organization?

Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance commercials that says "Not available in all states"?

How far east can you go before you are heading west?

How does a Real Estate company sell its office without causing confusion?

If a slice of bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Why vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is is brown?

Why do caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag, and put garments in a suitcase?

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