...bought Danario Alexander a new pair of shoes. It's an interesting story, actually. I dined at a local Chinese food buffet yesterday. I, over-indulging in General Tso's chicken, Buffalo Wings, some brightly colored 'pork' on a stick, and polished it all off with a finely swirled vanilla ice cream cone. Then I got to the '...in bed' portion of my meal: The Fortune Cookie.
Now, for those of you who may not know, the only fun thing about fortune cookies is getting one that is slightly sexual so that when you add 'in bed' to the end of it, you nearly spit out your Chinese Diet Coke. Other than that, let's face it, they might as well be crackers. At any rate, I shredded through the packaging like Ralphie looking for a Red Ryder bb gun, and it read...
'Don't throw stones at a glass house...in bed.' Thanks for nothing! Of course, my wife got 'Tonight you're going to be very happy that you've married DCRamFan.' As we both pondered the worthlessness of mine, and the awesomeness of hers, something hit me, and it lead me to back to Danario.
It's probably no secret that I'm not the biggest fan of DX. I do FanPosts with pictures of wheelchairs, I force TSTer's to tell me where they live because obviously no one outside of Missouri can still want this guy, and I reference his knee surgeries as often as I inhale. And at that moment, I felt really bad about all of the aforementioned. Damn fortune cookie must have been filled with dark magic?
I'm not sure if I was relating 'glass house' to 'shattered knees,' but I knew that I needed to right my wrongs. DX has shown flashes of brilliance, he has made BIG plays for us, and his size and speed can be lethal if he can stay healthy. It is my opinion that Rock Gullickson, our strength and conditioning coach, simply hasn't had the time to focus on Danario, as the list of injured players multiplied like Mogwai's in water....or that eat after midnight.
Being a philanthropist, meaning I donate $1 to some form of animal care while at Petco, I knew I could help. So I bought him some shoes. If we're to be better this season, we need him healthy...and at any cost. That cost, to be exact, would be $70. I started to think about what it was that plagued the oft-injured wide receiver? Maybe Nike has a shoe that coordinates with their new uni's? If not, I want him to be comfortable and provide him with a pair of kicks that will support both his feet, and ultimately, his knees. Listen to this description, and tell me that I haven't addressed at least a few of the issues poor footwear would only expose during the game:
- Natural: The key to Shape-ups Liv by SKECHERS is the diagonal curved bottom that promotes a more natural barefoot stride
- Comfortable: Lightweight, flexible and soft Resalyte™ midsole gives you a cushioned base
- Fit: Sock-Fit construction with ExoSkin support is like an extension of your foot
Free: Flex Groove bottom allows a nearly limitless range of free motion
Look, I'm not saying that it's the answer, but it's 'a step' in the right direction for both of us. Also, I didn't scour through the Cheeto filled cushions of my couch (and dog bed), and take $67.83 from my wife's 'Pennies for Pinot' jar for nothing. Oh, wait, this darn computer didn't copy everything correctly from the shoe's website. The last detail is...
Everywhere: With the freedom to move, you can walk anywhere and anytime
And on that note, he can walk anywhere he wants, anytime he wants...barring he's not on crutches or in a wheelchair. Skechers oughta be making fortune cookies. I have a fortune I'd like to write for them: Get this guy outta here! He needs to be...in Bed?
P.S. - My lucky numbers were 44, 23, 81, 16