FanPost

Wednesday Night Caption Contest: 'Feel the Byrne'

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via farm6.staticflickr.com

Excuse me! Hello! Let's quiet down here folks. Is this mic on? Check 1, 2.........check 1,2. Ok, we got a hot mic here. My name is Kerry J Byrne and I've come to TST tonight because DCRamFan sent me an email, and his response to my writing this is unsettling. For the safety of my family, I'm taking a proactive approach and coming to your site tonight to address your 'concerns'. Just so that you know, the restraining order that I've placed on DC should take effect immediately. If you suck like he, and the Rams do, then you'll listen closely to what I've got to say...

Just so that you can get to know a little bit about me, before you unfairly criticize me and my work, I've got just a few things to say.....I'm somehow employed as a sports writer. I share a name with a woman. My mustache is broken. I wear a C-cup. Of all the hair styles, I've chosen 'Alfalfa.' So, now that we've been acquainted, I wanted to address some of the comments that I've read on your site today, and share with you a bit of what won't be tolerated. For example, DCRamFan, and I'll just give you the two first lines of his email, said:

Dear Kerry,

I'd like reimbursement for the pair of Nautica Khakis that you ruined today, because of your post 'St. Louis's terrible, horrible no good, very bad Rams.' It's difficult to control your bladder when you're laughing hysterically at a comedy skit that you thought was a football write-up.

If you could, please provide me with the first two lines of a letter that you would've written to me after reading my recent masterpiece. I'm not sure that the problem lies in the content of my work, but more so on the terrible, horrible no good, very bad comprehension skills of the Rams faithful. What do you have to say about that?!?

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