These picks can't be wrong.

Dolphins vs. Bills

Ugh. Why do the Thursday night game have to suck so much? I say the Dolphins are off track, and the Bills will score 30 points in this one for the win.

Cardinals vs. Falcons

This is not going to be the week Atlanta loses a second game.

Buccaneers vs. Panthers

The Rams play the Bucs later in the season. The Bucs are rolling right now, putting up 30 points without blinking an eye. Too bad their defense is a quarterback's best friend. Tampa Bay will win this one.

Packers vs. Lions

The Packers are fixing to get into the NFC hunt, especially with the Bears sans Cutler. They should beat the Lions.

Browns vs. Cowboys

I've picked the Browns for an upset before, and I'm doing it again. Face it, I'm just picking against the Cowboys here.

Eagles vs. Redskins

Nick Foles, everybody, Nick Foles. (Probably, since Andy Reid needs him to cushion his fall). RGIII wins.

Jets vs. Rams

Tebow Time? Nope. Rams time!

Bengals vs. Chiefs

Why doesn't the league mercy rule the Chiefs already? Does Roger Goodell think it's funny to watch Romeo Crennel go through the motions of a senile old man trying to coach a football team?

Jaguars vs. Texans

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Saints vs. Raiders

The Saints will win and we'll be forced to listen to hours and hours of comeback talk ... very premature comeback talk.

Chargers vs. Broncos

In a perfect world, the Chargers would blow another big lead on the Donkeys, sending Norv Turner back to coaching high school and falling asleep while supervising the ISS room. Obviously, the Broncos will win.

Colts vs. Patriots

I'm picking the Colts just because I want to see Andrew Luck win again. Oh, I also hate the Pats.

Ravens vs. Steelers

Just watch the Steelers win in spite of Byron Leftwich. It could happen, but I'm betting on the Ravens here.

Bears vs. 49ers

Jason Campbell time! Let's say Peanut Tillman takes over scoring duties again. No, the 49ers will probably win.