Ed Mulholland-US PRESSWIRE
For the first time this season, the St. Louis Rams are actually FAVORED to win a game. That's right, the Rams are 3 1/2 point favorites over the visiting New York Jets. So what better time for two of the more deranged writers in all of SBNation to place a wager on the game, eh?
Scott Salmon, featured writer for Gang Green Nation and well known pants-less New York subway rider, is visiting TST all week in the pregame chat thread. If you haven't read any of Scott's well written articles over at GGN, take a minute and head over their way. He's also a semi-professional gambler, and the Atlantic City casinos love seeing him walk through their doors. He's been banned from playing his faaaavorite game - Bingo. I'm told gray haired aficionados of the game rioted the last time he played because he kept shouting "TEBOW!" instead of "Bingo!".
When the Rams-Jets game neared, he sought out a kindred spirit here at TST. While he swears he picked a name at random from the staff, we all know better, don't we? Text-ing me from a cellphone, "Mom's" appeared in my caller ID screen. I clicked on the message, and this is what followed:
Mom's: "Who the hell are you and why are you following me?"
Me: "Who is this...? Mom?"
Mom's: Like you don't know... Where are my pants!"
Me: So this isn't Mom?
Mom's: "Hell no! This is Scott. Do you play bingo?"
Me: "I play many games badly thank you. Bingo, eh?"
Mom's: " We have to bet on the Jets game."
Me: "You mean the RAMS game? Is Bingo involved?"
Mom's: "Are you sure you don't know where my pants are?"
Me: "So pants are a part of playing Bingo? Damn! Old women are liars!"
Mom's: "I propose we bet our taglines here at SBNation on the game. For one week, you have to use the tagline I give you."
Me: "This is Mom! Wait a second... This is Scott, right? You have the tagline: "I have wet dreams about the Miami Dolphins every night". I thought you only had to keep it posted for only a week?"
Mom's: "The interwebs thingy won't let me change it back to "Save Salmon, eat Tuna".
Mom's: "What? You don't like Tuna?"
Me: "Did you get the "Flipper" DVD box-set I sent you?"
Mom's: "That was you? I thought it was someone named "Amazon", so I banned him from GGN. We have standards..."
Me: "So we're betting taglines on the game? Got it!"
Mom's: Cool! I'll get my evil hoards over at GGN working on your tagline. Jets Rule! Now, about my pants..."
There you have it. The gauntlet has been thrown down! If the Rams win this Sunday, Scott has to change is tagline to anything I want. If the Jets win, I have to change mine to whatever his Lithium addled mind comes up with too. Not sure if he knows I'm a fiction writer by trade, but there you are... I need everyone here at TST to chime in with suggestions. The winning entry - which cannot include ANYTHING vulgar - will win a Rams 2012 Rams cheerleader calendar, and this pair of pants I received in the mail...