I've Got a Feeling!
Yeah that's how we say hello in the Oklahoman vernacular. It's been awhile since I've posted anything, mainly because I've been trying to make sense out of all the "Let's dissect Bradford" articles. I'm still not sure why they still exist, but on to the upcoming game against the "Big Green Cheese Weenies.!"
When I got up this morning around 6:00 A.M. and popped open my first PBR of the day, what's that? Oh it stands for Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer, breakfast of champions. Anyway back to the story, like I was saying I was sitting on the deck next to my double-wide enjoying breakfast and reading articles about how the cheese whizz boys were back, and going to the "Lou" was just going to be for R&R (Ribs & Recreation). I think that's a whole bunch of hot air. Then they said the next three games agin the Rams, Jags, and Cardinals is gonna let the injured players get healed up, and the regulars make us disappear like a fart in the wind!
All I could think of was that sounded like some Virginia Booshwah! Them sports writers all must have been up a holler in Franklin County sipping on a jug of moonshine to come up with that pile of mule fritters.
Anyway let's anal-ize the facts of this here upcoming game. Get a 12-pack of PBR and a couple of soda straws and I'll have ya believing the Rams are gonna runaway with this game.
Here are the reasons we win:
- According to the new SI.Com NFL Stadium Rankings the Edward Jones Dome was ranked 32nd overall in fan satisfaction. There ain't no reason for the Pack to score points and do the flambeau leap, in such a crappy facility.
- Legatron is pissed - Expect a 70 yard FG inside the world's worst dome.
- Janoris Jenkins is pissed for getting burned for a TD - Expect at least one pick 6.
- Cortland Finnegan has been silent for two games - Expect a least one INT
- Steven Jackson is pissed because he is being slowly shown the door - Expect 100 yds and TD
- Brian Quick is pissed because nobody thinks he is worth a damn - Expect at least 1 TD
- Steve Smith is pissed because everybody thinks he is all washed up - Expect at least 50 yds
- Chris Long is pissed because Quinn has more sacks - Expect 2 sacks
- Jo-Lonn Dunbar is pissed because Long and Quinn have more sacks - Expect 1 sack and a take away.
- Sam Bradford is pissed because no one thinks he is good - Expect 3 TD's on a 200 yd day.
So there you have the scientific proof, dually quantified and verified by PBR!
It's a fact, RAMS WIN!