It Could be Worse!

Recently this place has been about as chipper as a cancer ward with more drama than a day time soap opera.  It's hard to look on the bright side when you get your ass handed to you with all the trimmings, but it could always be worse.  I've been inspired by this loss to put up my first (and quite possibly only) sober post!  I'm going to make myself feel better by doing what I always do.  Laughing at other people's misfortunes!  Feel free to read and partake. 

Hold on, I'm gonna grab a beer before the jump....

Lets keep it close to home for this first one.

We could be the Chiefs: Seriously.  They went 7-1 at home last year and looked like a solid team and I dare say had even higher hopes than we did coming into the season.  Especially since they were playing the supposedly weak Buffalo Bills (I believe I relegated them to the Andrew Luck Suck Bowl with Cincy and Carolina).  Raise your hand if you saw them getting completely and utterly dominated 41-7?  Now put your hands down you lying sacks of crap.  I bet you knew Tom Brady was going to throw for 500+ yards tonight too.  The Chiefs and their fans were embarrassed at home by a team that is supposed to be no good.  They also received a cold hard reminder right in the first game of the season that Matt Cassel does not have the ability to put the team on his back when they need it.  At least we got trounced by the uber talented Eagles, and if not for Sam Bradford's fumble touchdown, we would have been tied 10-10 at half time.  Lets not talk about that second half.

We could be the Steelers: Another ass whooping, and I'm pretty sure Pittsburgh was favored to win this one.  What's worse than losing to a bitter rival?  Having your bitter rival mop the floor with your for 4 quarters on the way to your worse loss to said rivals in the history of your franchise.  Big Ben looked like garbage.  Ray Rice (the little runningback that could!) made that vaunted Steelers D look like swiss cheese and Joe Flacco looked like an all pro against them.  It sucks getting stomped out by the Eagles, but at least it wasn't the 9ers or Seahawks.  If that happens, I'll be crawling into a large bottle of whiskey.


We could be the CowboysYea they were close, and they dominated for three quarters, but that 4th quarter melt down just gave everyone in Texas a horrifying reminder of just what Romo has been bringing to the table since he was promoted to the starting job for Dallas.  The Dallas cowboys had never lost a game in franchise history when leading by 14 in the 4th quarter. Welcome to the era of Romo.  They may have enjoyed 3 quarters of good play, but watching your team completely fall apart when it counted most has to sting soooo much worse than a blowout by a favored team.  At least that's what it seemed like when I was watching the game with my Cowboys friends.  My buddy Joe was screaming, and locked himself in his room.... and I swear I heard the faint whisper of weeping from behind the locked door.

We could be Atlanta: With the addition of Julio Jones to lineup across from Roddy White, and big Mike Turner still lining up behind Matt Ryan, most people believed this offense was going to be high powered.  Did I mention they still have Tony Gonzalez? You bet your ass he still has something left in the tank.  Then sunday rolled around, and the Bears defense gave them a savage beating.  It was like watching Manny Pacquiao go 10 rounds with a girl scout.  I'm sure the Falcons will bounce back and I bet they are still going to make the playoffs, but this week was a big blow to their pride.  They were served a nice big helping of humble pie.

When all is said and done, I would still give my left nut for any 1 of these teams starting receivers, but as disappointing and painful as this weeks loss was, look on the bright side:  The Eagles have elite talent on both sides of the ball, and the only reason we were blown out is because of drops and stupid mistakes that can be fixed.  Now if we get blown out by the Giants next week..... Shit my pants factor: 10/10

Edit:  Fuck the 9ers :)

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