Mamasaymamasacoomacoosa! We are dancin', baby! Dancin! Hoo Hoo! I don't know what the hell is goin' on this year but I am TUNED IN! For the first ime in four years I am feelin' hopeful and excited. Honestly, who gives a damn if these Rams don't make the playoffs this year. It's the fact that we can even TALK about being in the playoffs, or going .500, or just beating teams that are better than them on paper is what has made this year so much fun! Shamone! Hoo! I hate to even give some LAMEBALLS on this day but a couple need to be given out. Always room for improvement...and jello.
El Superbeasto #39: It wasn't just the TD. It wasn't just the 8 yd romps. It wasn't just the awesomeness that SJAX is. It was those last two minutes. Those "no way in f%^&*g hell we are going to give the ball back to Superdouche Rivers to kill this amazing game" runs to seal the deal. Can we even call them runs? They were more like explosions with grunts being heard up in the rafters from the sorry asses tryng to tackle him. That can't be taught, people. You have IT or you don't. My Lanta, I heart SJAX.
The DX84 Streamline Jet: If you didn't get a little choked up (just a little ) when The DX84 Streamlne Jet caught his first NFL touchdown, then I suggest you go to the cardiologist tomorrow and have him check to see if you have a heart. I couldn't imagine a better first game for his career with all the things that Danario has fought through to get here. As we speak I am trying to find a secret titanium alloy mixed with angel hugs to inject into his knee. Let me know if you run across anything.
Chris Long: Maybe this is the first game in which people will start calling Howie "Chris Long's father". Just maybe. I am so happy for Chris. He has played his tail off this year and this was one of the first games where HE got to see the results. we knew it was there. It was nice for Chris to see it himself. Keep it up, baby. Sweet freakin game.
James Hall: Dear James Hall, Thank you for coming back for another year with us when you had ABSOLUTELY NO REASON to. You are a very good football player and I am glad you play for the Rams. Sincerely, AmpLee.
Larry Grant: Larry Grant, come on down! You are the next contestant on Hey! How The Hell Does Coach Spags Get So Much Out Of Seventh Rounders And Street Free Agents!? You've won a chance to keep playing hard and earning a decent living by being a starter in the NFL with your two River Dumps!
Jason Brown: You are a hell of a center and there are very few centers I would want more than you out there but I hope to Hades that this was an apparition. Those snaps. That hold. You were just jokin', right?......Right?
Play Calling Inside the Opponents 5 Yard Line With 3 Usable Downs: Pat, you called a pretty decent game. You've had a bit of a problem this year inside the five. Let me help you. Now, I know this will be a little too simple for you to process because you run the West Coast O and all but just hear me out. On first down: hand the ball to Steven Jackson. On second down: hand the ball to Steven Jackson. On third down: HAND THE FUCKING BALL TO STEVEN JACKSON!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for your time, Pat. See you next week.
The Ghost of Alex Barron: Saffold, Smith, Kearney quit it. Please quit it. No one can take this anymore. You know the count in the huddle. Sam tells you. You know it. Just stop it. Please stop. It's worse than a walk in baseball or a penalty in hockey or missing 3 free throws in a row in basketball. It's the worst self imposed mistake in all four sports because it's COMPLETELY AVOIDABLE! Stop it now, dammit! it just swallows momentum like Lohan on a rack of jello shots.
And now we have come full circle. What a game. What a team to cheer for. What a time to be a Ram fan.
GO RAMS! GO RAMS! GO RAMS!