No one on the Rams wants Randy Moss- PROOF


Much has been made about the effect that Randy Moss will have in the locker room if the Rams decide to claim him and it has come out today that the Rams players in fact do not want Moss on the team.

“It will definitely disrupt the locker room,” said Rams defensive end Chris Long. “We have a pre-game tradition of playing a hacky sack tournament, defensive players against the offensive guys. If they get Moss, it just won’t be fair,”   alluding to Moss’s 2002 International Hacky Sack Tournament third place finish.

Long is not the only one to voice concerns. Rookie quarterback spoke about his fears of playing with Moss while finishing his happy meal, “Does anyone remember that I am rookie? How am I supposed to deal with a guy like that? If Moss comes here, my career is ruined. I’ll probably never play well again.”

Another Rams offensive rookie, Mardy Gilyard, was especially anti-Moss. “You realize that if we get Moss, I am pretty much done for this year.” Gilyard admitted that not playing might have its advantages, however. “If I do not have to go to those games every Sunday, I could stay home and finally learn the playbook,” said the rookie from Cincinnati.

James Laurinaitis, a defensive leader and perhaps the hardest worker on the team, worried that Moss’s attitude would spill over to other players. “Has Randy Moss proven he is a great receiver? Yes. But, what about the intangible things? I know that I just follow what everyone else does, so if Moss is here and he isn’t working hard, then I am going to stop working hard, it is just that simple.”

Ron Bartell did not want to play against Moss in practice. “Did you see how good I was against Larry Fitzgerald? Yeah, that is how good I am. But, I don’t want Moss to beat me in practice. It is a lot easier covering Amendola and Gibson.” Bartell added, “Seriously, with the receivers we have right now, I have not allowed a single catch against me in practice. If there were a practice Hall of Fame, I’d be in it. So, no, I don’t want Randy Moss to come in here and take that opportunity away from me,” said Bartell, who later admitted he thinks there is a good chance that a practice Hall of Fame will be built in three years.

For his part, Billy Devaney even said that he did not want Moss to join the Rams. “Look, I didn’t think we’d be anywhere near playoffs, “ said the Rams GM. “If we make it, I’ll have to re-schedule my cruise in the Bahamas.” Another point that few have taken into consideration is the effect acquiring Moss would have on the Rams draft next spring. “Most fans like my draft picks. Did they ever think that I draft well because I get to draft at the top of the round?” Devaney’s wife gave further explanation, “Billy gets very anxious and excited about the draft. I don’t think he could wait until any later than pick 5 to make a selection.” Devaney added, “I have carved out a routine for the draft. Show up, make a pick, nap for three hours, and make another pick. If we started winning and drafting later, I’d have to change everything.”

Chip Rosenbloom wants Moss to stay away more than anybody. “Has anybody seen the movie Major League? Because this is pretty much the same situation, but with a football team. I never wanted them to win. It’s too bad the NFC West is so awful this year. Hopefully, we can lose out and then I can move the team back to L.A.”

Rams offensive coordinator, Pat Schurmur, is also nervous about picking up Moss. “When Avery and Clayton went down, I just threw away all the pages in the playbook with routes longer than ten yards. If Moss comes here, I’ll have to find those plays or make up new ones. That is a lot of work.” Schurmur made a point to insist that he is not lazy, however, he just “doesn’t want to do any more work than (he) has to.”

The Rams fans also hope that Moss stays away. “I only like high character guys on my team,” said Jim Smith, a South County resident, donning a Leonard Little jersey. Others voiced different concerns. “Right now, I can sit wherever I want to in the dome, I don’t have to worry about it being too loud in there, and there is no traffic after the game. If Moss came here and there was some excitement on offense, it would ruin my enjoyment of the Rams,” said the 68 year-old Sue Jones, a member of the steadily growing AARRF (the American Association of Retired Rams Fans) who have turned to the dome for quiet and relaxing Sunday afternoons. “Those playoff games are too loud and rowdy for me,” she added.

Finally, Coach Steve Spagnuolo, said he is definitely against Moss joining the Rams. “Right now, a lot of people think that my “four pillars” plan is responsible for the wins, instead of just our weak schedule. If I bring Moss in here, and he acts up, then no one will believe that the four pillars are cool any more.” He also said that he does not want create another “timeout” room. “When I first got here, we had a timeout room for when players did naughty things. Alex (Barron) and Richie (Incognito) spent a lot of time in there. I put a hot tub in there with a 50 inch HDTV, so I can relax after practice. I don’t want to have to make a new timeout room or give my hot tub up for Randy.”

So, no one at Rams Park wants Moss and it appears that he will slide down the waiver wire to another team. Perhaps the Seahawks will pick him up. With all the negativity surrounding Moss’s potential to join the Rams, they believe it will only be subtraction by addition.

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